Day 9

This morning, I called Bass again....
No answer. Well of course, because the operator came on and said 'the cricket number you have called, has temporary been disconnected'
I text his mom asking what happened, but no response.

So later that morning, I crawled out of bed after laying there for a few hours, and walked out of my room. I saw some candy on the floor, as my dad had 'hid' candy eggs around... but I just walked right past it. I grabbed one that was on the counter, and ate it, but that was it. Why? Why did I just walk past everything my dad had hid? simply because I dont care about anything anymore I guess.. which now that I think about it, makes me feel bad, because I kinda ignored him today. well didnt ignore him, just he would say stuff, and I wouldnt know how to respond except with a fake laugh, or I just didnt have anything in common with the subject. He is trying too hard to impress me I think. Which is nice... but it would be nice if he actually just... KNEW me, and knew what to talk about... but like me, I dont know what to talk about. Guess it was the distance of being away, or the fact that Im just so fricken miserable, and hate colorado, that im just always in a bad mood. anyways, enough emo talk. this is supposed to be a 'happy' blog thing... eventhough its not working.

we went to go shopping sorta, and ended up just going for a very long drive through the mountains. it was nice. We saw a hurd of elk! last time I saw that, I was in california, and they were all running around. It was really pretty, this time.... they were all just standing in a big circle...
Than we went to get me girly stuff for my stupid evil girly time of the month.
After that, we came home.... I cant remember what happened.. we watched a movie, I went to sleep, got back up, ate this cute tiny egg shaped cake that my dad got.... they were small,... one for him, one for me.
than... we watched the end of lord of the rings, I talked to my grandma, and..... that was it. my dad went to bed.

tomorrow my friend said he might take me out shopping.


oh! when I last talked to bass, which was like 2 days after I came back to colorado, he said he absolutely loved the CD I had made for him.... and he kept listening to it...
well now I keep listening to the playlist I had put together to make that CD. ugh...

day 9... no word from bass...
my attitude is going down again.
When will I be cured? I go through these phases.... these phases last for months and months, sometimes for a few years even.
I hope to find friends who can save me... even though only I can really save myself; help would be nice though