Day 18

I woke up to a horrid dream...
First off, I couldnt sleep at all last night. I felt like I did nothing but cry because I was either one, missing Bass, two, felt like I was being totally ignored, three,.... idk, I just feel so lost.
And I finally fell asleep for good around 6 something.

Anyways! so I had a dream that my ex fiancee was trying to break up with me cause something HE was doing wrong, than my dad brought him home,... drunk... and just bailed out of jail...
Than he said that we were going to work things out, and stay with each other forever....
But than soon after that, he jumped off of the balcony and into the ocean, trying to kill himself, and I just jumped in right after to try and save him...
Than my mom was trying to cure him.

Lately i've been having lots of dreams of my exs and my mom....
I've been thinking about the past way too much! But I cant help to miss it.... I was happy.

Anyways, so that happened, and than my friend Chip was just bugging me. idk what it was. But oh well, hes like a bro kinda... sorta.... or just a friend I get irritated with. haha.
Anyways, than my so called friend Rics bailed... AGAIN!!! omfg, I got soooo mad. So I just blew up on him, said he could buy his own fricken ticket, get his own backstage passes, and whatever the fuck else.... wanna know why he bailed? cause he had to fix his little car radio, and computer, THAT DAY!!! when he said ahead of time that he was free, and was originally supposed to take us on sat when we planned it a week ahead of time... hes blowing off a lot of people....

but than my friend Klaa said he'd take us to get our tickets tomorrow, and give us a ride to solarfest, but we'd have to find a ride back.... im gonna see if my friend justin will

and klaa offered that I check this job thing out, so ima go do that.... But tomorrow im also going to see if he'll take me so I can apply at Rave :]

My steamer is slowly starting to die.... and I havnt even finished off my first set of dreads to sell... than my friend Andrew said he wanted to sell dreads too... which slightly irritated me...
Andrew has his websites for bands, photography, and modeling...
chip is a promoter,...
and I have my dreads, and hopefully a future goth store...
but oh well...

so bad day dealing with so called friends,
good day with meeting new people....

Day 18...
Still no word from Bass.
I still feel like smacking him across the face if I ever see him again,...
Yet lastnight when I was crying, I wish he would walk through the door and come lay with me, hold me tight, and tell me its alright... Like the olden days,...
which was only a little more than a month ago
Are you out there? Are you alive?

I hope to go somewhere in life soon...