So I woke up early in the morning after last looking at the clock at 3:45 am...
6:30 am... my dad was asking why I wanted to go to the skate park so early.... Brandon and I did,... Brandon was gonna teach me.... But Brandon didnt really wake up and it was snowing....
Anyways, so after my dad woke me up after he got done getting ready, to inform me that it was raining, I said goodbye to him, and fell back asleep.
A few hours later I woke up again. I had been getting texts from Klaa, and apparently they had been playing in my dreams,... meaning I didnt really notice it...
He was inviting me to go to the mall with him!!!
I had to think about it. One, I was waaay too tired to think, two.... well I had to clean the whole house.
But after a while I actually got out of bed, and started cleaning, decorated my room a little... but not as much as I wanted.... I realized I didnt have as many pictures as I thought in my photoalbum...
It would be a lot better if my printer was working =[
Anyways, I cleaned,... than I cooked some spam :] yum
after a while, I got ready, and Klaa came over.
He was dressed as one of the anime characters from Bleach, and I was slightly dressed like a pirate...
but dang, I hate my heals....
we went to the flat irion mall, to the mills mall...
and I got new shoes... and man, I hate those shoes too D<>.>
Oh, and he got me Cinnamon :]
Oh, than Jared text me.... saying 'hey babe i got my phone' but his signature said 'Marcos' so I was all like 'who the fuck is this?'
but i really asked 'er, Jared'
his response: "Yes, unless there is someone else that calls you babe"
Psh!!!! yea, right... if there was someone who called me babe that that I knew of, I'd be all like 'bitch...... im not your babe'
tehe....
but all in all today was a pretty good day today ^-^
except for the fact that I put on my corset today.... ugh, im getting fat... and its making me cry
='(
But anyways, I get to see my babe tomorrow, and hopefully we can all get out of the stress filled house....
He makes me so happy... but sometimes I feel like I cant be myself around him.... I guess its just me being shy....
But he checks my profile on myspace all the time, and I think thats so fricken cute!!!! <3333
Now I totally have a reason to update my profile all the time
Day 35
Bass still hasnt answered his phone...
Jared now has his phone.... YAY!!!!! Now I can text him all the time, and tell him I miss him, and.... he makes me happy, and, morning, and I can bother him 24/7 :D
He does make me happy....
and I still cant find my coat =[ Im gonna cry...
especially if its gonna be cold tomorrow... I hate wearing sweaters
=[ Damien moves to yellowstone in a few days... but hopefullly in about 6 months he'll move to colorado..... im really hoping. [hes taking the sesonal job... I wish I had joined last time... he really wanted me to join this time, but I just had too much other stuff going on]
oh, I updated my xanga account....
http://deafbats.xanga.com/weblogpreview
or just
http://deafbats.xanga.com/
p.s. I cant wait till these rude ass people leave my house.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Day 34
So this morning I woke up around 6 something again, hoping to catch Jared... It seems that I just wake up around that time nowadays....
But anyways... so I layed in bed till the boys came in to bother me. Well not bother me, but I guess to get their shit, say good morning, and.... talk. I really cant remember.
I really cant remember the rest of the day at all except I FINALLY took a self portrait with my new camera.... yaaay... step one, done.
step two,... take shots of other people portrait wise.
Than got into a little argument about how I asked Brandon to throw the trash before he left the house... which he totally didnt,... and didnt do it till I yelled at him about it....
Anyways, after being irritated, I went off to my room and was texting a friend, who just broke up with his girl.... actually its the other way around.. but he is already looking for a new gf....
and that made me think of Derrick....
I broke up with him, and was over him rather quickly due to the fact that my mom was in the hospice [if you know what that is, yay for you] so that was stressing me out, and we fought all the time, and it just got boring.... yet... he has not yet found or gone out with another girl... its been like a year and a half...
So me and Derrick talked a lil.... of course we're just friends :]
Anyways,... Colorado is getting rather boring for me again... and again, im longing to go back to Cali more and more.... and more. And the fact that I dont really have a best friend here besides chip, who I argue with alot, is making it even more boring here....
and except the fact that Jared is here...
But really.... Im hella missing Juan.
I want my very very very own best friend again.... but someone who isnt going to fucking run off to gay mexico >.>
-sigh-
Makes me rather sad...
or if I had a chick friend of my own... that I can talk to, and she wont go and tell someone else....
Thats the thing,... between me and chip, I tell him something, he'll tell someone else... he tells me something, I'll probably tell who hes talking about... someone tells him something, he'll tell me...
I miss Jess too....
Anyways, I fell asleep while texting Derrick, and at some point of time Andrew just came in out of nowhere, and woke me up D<
lol but no, it kinda made me smile, cause he was saying something that I could join them out in the livingroom... and that I didnt have to lock myself up in my room all the time....
Thing is though... they are watching stupid sports.... or listening to their own music,... and have my computer... what is there for me to do out there? Nothing.
Anyways, so yea, I slept more...
and I ate alot...
I think Im falling back into my depression sate, eventhough I usually dont eat this much when Im depressed....
but today.... a k bar, another bar shit thing, couscose, rice, pork, cup of noodles, nachos, cereal, beagel, a piece of bread, a lil bit of chips, half a yogart [cause my dad used the other half for curry] 2 cookies, and I think one more thing, just cant remember.....
THATS MORE THAN i WOULD CONSUME IN A WEEK!!!
Now I look like a fat preggo >.>
anyways.... yea... idk what else to say...
but I really wanted to be productive in this blog. I always think of great things to talk about, but in the end I never remember.
Main thing is I have no control of whats going on with me right now....
I want my own fucking best friend who I can go shopping with, eventhough I honestly dont really like girls...
Day 34...
Bass still hasnt answered his phone
Franny is back to not messaging me,
and life is getting boring all over again.....
I hope to have a car soon,
and a shop
than i'd be a bit happier
But anyways... so I layed in bed till the boys came in to bother me. Well not bother me, but I guess to get their shit, say good morning, and.... talk. I really cant remember.
I really cant remember the rest of the day at all except I FINALLY took a self portrait with my new camera.... yaaay... step one, done.
step two,... take shots of other people portrait wise.
Than got into a little argument about how I asked Brandon to throw the trash before he left the house... which he totally didnt,... and didnt do it till I yelled at him about it....
Anyways, after being irritated, I went off to my room and was texting a friend, who just broke up with his girl.... actually its the other way around.. but he is already looking for a new gf....
and that made me think of Derrick....
I broke up with him, and was over him rather quickly due to the fact that my mom was in the hospice [if you know what that is, yay for you] so that was stressing me out, and we fought all the time, and it just got boring.... yet... he has not yet found or gone out with another girl... its been like a year and a half...
So me and Derrick talked a lil.... of course we're just friends :]
Anyways,... Colorado is getting rather boring for me again... and again, im longing to go back to Cali more and more.... and more. And the fact that I dont really have a best friend here besides chip, who I argue with alot, is making it even more boring here....
and except the fact that Jared is here...
But really.... Im hella missing Juan.
I want my very very very own best friend again.... but someone who isnt going to fucking run off to gay mexico >.>
-sigh-
Makes me rather sad...
or if I had a chick friend of my own... that I can talk to, and she wont go and tell someone else....
Thats the thing,... between me and chip, I tell him something, he'll tell someone else... he tells me something, I'll probably tell who hes talking about... someone tells him something, he'll tell me...
I miss Jess too....
Anyways, I fell asleep while texting Derrick, and at some point of time Andrew just came in out of nowhere, and woke me up D<
lol but no, it kinda made me smile, cause he was saying something that I could join them out in the livingroom... and that I didnt have to lock myself up in my room all the time....
Thing is though... they are watching stupid sports.... or listening to their own music,... and have my computer... what is there for me to do out there? Nothing.
Anyways, so yea, I slept more...
and I ate alot...
I think Im falling back into my depression sate, eventhough I usually dont eat this much when Im depressed....
but today.... a k bar, another bar shit thing, couscose, rice, pork, cup of noodles, nachos, cereal, beagel, a piece of bread, a lil bit of chips, half a yogart [cause my dad used the other half for curry] 2 cookies, and I think one more thing, just cant remember.....
THATS MORE THAN i WOULD CONSUME IN A WEEK!!!
Now I look like a fat preggo >.>
anyways.... yea... idk what else to say...
but I really wanted to be productive in this blog. I always think of great things to talk about, but in the end I never remember.
Main thing is I have no control of whats going on with me right now....
I want my own fucking best friend who I can go shopping with, eventhough I honestly dont really like girls...
Day 34...
Bass still hasnt answered his phone
Franny is back to not messaging me,
and life is getting boring all over again.....
I hope to have a car soon,
and a shop
than i'd be a bit happier
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Day 33
Ok, so im not going to put much in here.... Im just going to finish the rest tomorrow......
right now my computer keeps fucking up right now...
but yea.....
I got to see Jared today... was a pretty good day...
didnt really get to talk about what I wanted to...
but whatever...
lastnight we got into a.... idk.... misunderstanding fight thingy whatever....
but I think we're doing fine now....
but....
idk... I really dont feel like typing.....
but im just gonna say that Jared made me really happy today when me and him just layed there talking about stuff....
I became really content really fast... and I was really happy just laying there talking to him.... <3
but than his mom took me and andrew home soon after....
oh... and I love the fact that Jared is super ticklish :]
ok..... im done.... i'll post the rest tomorrow....
friday Jared invited me to t his place thing.... so yay for that
-----------------------
ok, so im finishing up this post....
when im on the computer my cat like HAS to lay on me.... and it totally gets annoying, and he like, REALLY wants to lay on me.... to the point that he is settling with just his two paws on my stummy.... sorry cat
anyways, yesterday we took the bus to the skate park,... and oh my goshness... it was soooo fricken hot. well not really,... I was just wearing long black pants.... and now I has this weir sunburn from my shirt.... which I totally love btw :]
But after a while Chip left to go back to work, and me andrew and Jared went to go lay in the shade.... than we went to go find foood... than we went to Independent Records....
Innerwold in cali is still the BEST place EVER!!! they have EVERYTHING!!! and its mostly a metal shop.... and a stoner shop... and they have an innerwold 2 which is right next door and that's where you'd buy your cigars porn hookahs and your pipes... but yea, the normal one has like clothes, posters of all kinds... 3 fucking HUGE ass binders with stickers... and like a binder for patches, and band flags and... omg, everything! I miss cali soooo much =[
Than we met up with Klaa..... I could have sworn my coat was in his car, but now I cants find its!!! Oooohhhh noooooo lol
Lets see.... Andrew kinda bothered me today....
Im not too fond of smart asses but whatever, gotta deal with it.
I totally had a dream that my crew was coming to live with me... oh-my-god... I'd be the happiest person alive!
one, Damien cooks for everyone, two, richie takes care of the sad and the sick, three, Ronnie just makes everyone happy.... except himself xD
[and.... im not counting rosa, steve or alayna jus cause.... I dont feel like it]
I sooo cant wait till I get my shop up!!
Than we got home after a while..... and andrew is there talking behind my back to my dad. oh god. seriously? to my dad? about shit he REALLY doesnt give a shit about? Im sure my dad sounds interested, but my dad doesnt really know the ins and outs [though he knows a lot more than me] so im sure he doesnt give a shit about what programs I use on there...
and im not even going to go into detail with that. I just cant wait till I get my shop up and running so I have a place to chill... alone... by myself, without being around so many guys 24/7
I mean... so far, I know Jared seems pretty respectful.... at least around me... Its nice to know he does have feelings and does get upset every once in a while, and isnt just a happy go lucky robot, but yea.... come on peoples! does no one know how to be respectful these days? I mean.... I may be a little toooo respectful and have anger problems at the same time, but whatever.... at least I know how to be nice to the person that is letting me live there for free... even if we are friends, I dont care....
Its like [sorry, I love you two both, but im just using this as an example] when alayna and ronnie would fight all the time.... yes, KATHY was the one who said alayna could live there, but Ronnie is Kathy's son..... if Ronnie doesnt like something your doing.... DONT FUCKING DO IT! I dont care if you have a baby.... [sorry D... lol im hoping you dont read this,.... totally just using it as an example]
But yea... I cant wait till I get a car, than I could just run away :]
god I wanna take pictures..... both model pictures and creative myspace pictures
oh! and the thing with Andrew saying Im not making my site professionally.... when all my hair is made out of 100% kk hair, which is SAID on my website... and the buyers who are usuallly cyber goth know that.... so using the word 'cheap' wouldnt be a problem... WHEN MOST OF THE PEOPLE SELL OFF OF MYSPACE!!! Myspace.... oh my god... wow, so yea, Im SOOOO not being professional here with a WEBSITE and have not even MADE a myspace dread account yet, i'd say Im a little bit more professional right now....
how PROFESSIONAL is myspace? Seriously? if EVERYONE buys off of there, than I think the simple word 'cheap prices' wouldnt hurt me at all....
fuck...
day 33...
bass still hasnt answered the phone
And I love...... love forhead kisses from Jared
right now my computer keeps fucking up right now...
but yea.....
I got to see Jared today... was a pretty good day...
didnt really get to talk about what I wanted to...
but whatever...
lastnight we got into a.... idk.... misunderstanding fight thingy whatever....
but I think we're doing fine now....
but....
idk... I really dont feel like typing.....
but im just gonna say that Jared made me really happy today when me and him just layed there talking about stuff....
I became really content really fast... and I was really happy just laying there talking to him.... <3
but than his mom took me and andrew home soon after....
oh... and I love the fact that Jared is super ticklish :]
ok..... im done.... i'll post the rest tomorrow....
friday Jared invited me to t his place thing.... so yay for that
-----------------------
ok, so im finishing up this post....
when im on the computer my cat like HAS to lay on me.... and it totally gets annoying, and he like, REALLY wants to lay on me.... to the point that he is settling with just his two paws on my stummy.... sorry cat
anyways, yesterday we took the bus to the skate park,... and oh my goshness... it was soooo fricken hot. well not really,... I was just wearing long black pants.... and now I has this weir sunburn from my shirt.... which I totally love btw :]
But after a while Chip left to go back to work, and me andrew and Jared went to go lay in the shade.... than we went to go find foood... than we went to Independent Records....
Innerwold in cali is still the BEST place EVER!!! they have EVERYTHING!!! and its mostly a metal shop.... and a stoner shop... and they have an innerwold 2 which is right next door and that's where you'd buy your cigars porn hookahs and your pipes... but yea, the normal one has like clothes, posters of all kinds... 3 fucking HUGE ass binders with stickers... and like a binder for patches, and band flags and... omg, everything! I miss cali soooo much =[
Than we met up with Klaa..... I could have sworn my coat was in his car, but now I cants find its!!! Oooohhhh noooooo lol
Lets see.... Andrew kinda bothered me today....
Im not too fond of smart asses but whatever, gotta deal with it.
I totally had a dream that my crew was coming to live with me... oh-my-god... I'd be the happiest person alive!
one, Damien cooks for everyone, two, richie takes care of the sad and the sick, three, Ronnie just makes everyone happy.... except himself xD
[and.... im not counting rosa, steve or alayna jus cause.... I dont feel like it]
I sooo cant wait till I get my shop up!!
Than we got home after a while..... and andrew is there talking behind my back to my dad. oh god. seriously? to my dad? about shit he REALLY doesnt give a shit about? Im sure my dad sounds interested, but my dad doesnt really know the ins and outs [though he knows a lot more than me] so im sure he doesnt give a shit about what programs I use on there...
and im not even going to go into detail with that. I just cant wait till I get my shop up and running so I have a place to chill... alone... by myself, without being around so many guys 24/7
I mean... so far, I know Jared seems pretty respectful.... at least around me... Its nice to know he does have feelings and does get upset every once in a while, and isnt just a happy go lucky robot, but yea.... come on peoples! does no one know how to be respectful these days? I mean.... I may be a little toooo respectful and have anger problems at the same time, but whatever.... at least I know how to be nice to the person that is letting me live there for free... even if we are friends, I dont care....
Its like [sorry, I love you two both, but im just using this as an example] when alayna and ronnie would fight all the time.... yes, KATHY was the one who said alayna could live there, but Ronnie is Kathy's son..... if Ronnie doesnt like something your doing.... DONT FUCKING DO IT! I dont care if you have a baby.... [sorry D... lol im hoping you dont read this,.... totally just using it as an example]
But yea... I cant wait till I get a car, than I could just run away :]
god I wanna take pictures..... both model pictures and creative myspace pictures
oh! and the thing with Andrew saying Im not making my site professionally.... when all my hair is made out of 100% kk hair, which is SAID on my website... and the buyers who are usuallly cyber goth know that.... so using the word 'cheap' wouldnt be a problem... WHEN MOST OF THE PEOPLE SELL OFF OF MYSPACE!!! Myspace.... oh my god... wow, so yea, Im SOOOO not being professional here with a WEBSITE and have not even MADE a myspace dread account yet, i'd say Im a little bit more professional right now....
how PROFESSIONAL is myspace? Seriously? if EVERYONE buys off of there, than I think the simple word 'cheap prices' wouldnt hurt me at all....
fuck...
day 33...
bass still hasnt answered the phone
And I love...... love forhead kisses from Jared
Monday, April 26, 2010
Day 32
So.... I stayed in bed almost all day long except I totally flipped out on Bass.... well not on him, just on his voice mail...
sent a message to franny to give to her mom...
and found out that my movie maker wont work anymore...
UGH!!! NO videos will fucking load on my computer now unless they are old...
I cant upload any videos on myspace, from any camera, under any format!! what the fuuuck
um.... I worked on my website :]
but its HELLA not finished
deafbatdreads.com
Drove today for the first time in like 8 months.... god i've been in colorado way too fucking long.
I need to go on another vacation to Turlock.
and me and my dad bought $180 worth of food....
adding 2 boys into your home really changes things
Ok... Im too irritated to finish this shit.
Day 32:
No answer from Bass...
Text DB which was funny, cause he was just thinking about me 15 minutes before I text him.
And..... shit really went down with Klaa.... I really hope things get better for him.
got my clothes from lip-service today...
yay.... I guess
yea =/ end of story
='(
sent a message to franny to give to her mom...
and found out that my movie maker wont work anymore...
UGH!!! NO videos will fucking load on my computer now unless they are old...
I cant upload any videos on myspace, from any camera, under any format!! what the fuuuck
um.... I worked on my website :]
but its HELLA not finished
deafbatdreads.com
Drove today for the first time in like 8 months.... god i've been in colorado way too fucking long.
I need to go on another vacation to Turlock.
and me and my dad bought $180 worth of food....
adding 2 boys into your home really changes things
Ok... Im too irritated to finish this shit.
Day 32:
No answer from Bass...
Text DB which was funny, cause he was just thinking about me 15 minutes before I text him.
And..... shit really went down with Klaa.... I really hope things get better for him.
got my clothes from lip-service today...
yay.... I guess
yea =/ end of story
='(
Day 30 & 31
Day 30:
Was the best day ever... period...
Got my first kiss from Jared....
day 31:
I cant remember anything...
Had spaghetti
And watched Ponyo....
and I didnt really like it...
I still say Spirited Away was the best movie he has done....
There is another one but I hella cant remember what its called....
Ok, Im done talking about those two days....
And today is day 32...
and I just feel like talking about whats happened so far....
Andrew and Brandon had fucked with my computer so fucking much that my fucking movie maker doesnt even fucking work anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UGH! I fucking swear!!!!!!!!!
Now I need to go find another movie maker program....
my ram is probably all screwed with like... the 20 things they have downloaded in the past 2 weeks.... which my computer was not built to hold...
I got this computer to hold pictures, photoshop, and a simple movie maker,... not like a shitload of things.... atleast they have not downloaded any dumb ass games on here
but seriously, I have like 6 adobe shit, 2 movie maker shit, one that doesnt work, and the other one that doesnt work either.... and like, 2 music maker shit, 1 animation creation, like 2 corel programs, and like 4 things that I dont even know what they are, ok.... so not THAT much stuff, but still.... I went to get a simple ass computer to fit the budget, and yea...
my photoshop is running HELLA slow all the time... and Klaa JUST cleaned my computer too....
Day 30 & day 31
No answer from Bass....
Jared makes me happy...
I hate it when people dont answer the phone when its an 800 number... follow the fricken instructions, and say 'no this is not so and so' so they will stop calling instead of letting it ring and ring and waking people up. seriously, is it that hard?
Was the best day ever... period...
Got my first kiss from Jared....
day 31:
I cant remember anything...
Had spaghetti
And watched Ponyo....
and I didnt really like it...
I still say Spirited Away was the best movie he has done....
There is another one but I hella cant remember what its called....
Ok, Im done talking about those two days....
And today is day 32...
and I just feel like talking about whats happened so far....
Andrew and Brandon had fucked with my computer so fucking much that my fucking movie maker doesnt even fucking work anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UGH! I fucking swear!!!!!!!!!
Now I need to go find another movie maker program....
my ram is probably all screwed with like... the 20 things they have downloaded in the past 2 weeks.... which my computer was not built to hold...
I got this computer to hold pictures, photoshop, and a simple movie maker,... not like a shitload of things.... atleast they have not downloaded any dumb ass games on here
but seriously, I have like 6 adobe shit, 2 movie maker shit, one that doesnt work, and the other one that doesnt work either.... and like, 2 music maker shit, 1 animation creation, like 2 corel programs, and like 4 things that I dont even know what they are, ok.... so not THAT much stuff, but still.... I went to get a simple ass computer to fit the budget, and yea...
my photoshop is running HELLA slow all the time... and Klaa JUST cleaned my computer too....
Day 30 & day 31
No answer from Bass....
Jared makes me happy...
I hate it when people dont answer the phone when its an 800 number... follow the fricken instructions, and say 'no this is not so and so' so they will stop calling instead of letting it ring and ring and waking people up. seriously, is it that hard?
Friday, April 23, 2010
Day 29
Ok... so nothing much happened today except....
I tried on my outfit, saw chip's new outfit xD
and I finished my dreads... yaaay
Than me and Jared made plans....
called places...
and than me and my dad picked up chip from work...
he brought home really good chicken
And that pretty much was my day.
I wanted to talk about something,... but I totally forgot, so I think im just going to come up with another subject....
which I cant think of..... otherwise I would have made a youtube video...
But I was thinking about something today..... and got really deep into the thought, and now its just like.... blah
Day 29....
Bass still hasnt answered his phone....
and Justin I think bailed.... >.>
I swear,.... I hate people who bail... I really REALLY do.
Tomorrow.... is gonna be fun :]
Maybe I'll finish this blog later
----
Ok, so!
I was thinking about describing the new... crew... I guess you can 'kinda' call us that.
I'd be the quiet smart-ass who gets angry and hurt way too much... I look to the past too much...
Andrew is just the overly smart-ass whos a prick sorta... and a smart ass can be taken two different ways.... as a smart-ass, and someone way too smart lol
Chip is the dumbass, hyper, and.... yea... kinda rude... or really rude actually...
And Jared, as an addition to the crew... is... idk really. He is himself... hyper and.... idk,... he kinda-ish reminds me of a good guy... or a bad guy gone good lol :]
Why am I always the girl in the crew? Last time yes, there was alayna and rosa,... but alayna was never around, and idk if anyone went to rosa to vent... except her brother and her bf
But its kinda funny, with just me chip and andrew....
I get mad easily, but I get over it in a day, and dont expect a sorry....
chip gets mad at the STUPID things, and always expects a sorry, and says he wont talk to someone till he gets a sorry
Andrew kinda just, doesnt give a shit, but gets really irritated, but knows how to hide it
Jared just doesnt get angry lol
Ok, I dont feel like blogging about this anymore... lol I'll finish some other time
I tried on my outfit, saw chip's new outfit xD
and I finished my dreads... yaaay
Than me and Jared made plans....
called places...
and than me and my dad picked up chip from work...
he brought home really good chicken
And that pretty much was my day.
I wanted to talk about something,... but I totally forgot, so I think im just going to come up with another subject....
which I cant think of..... otherwise I would have made a youtube video...
But I was thinking about something today..... and got really deep into the thought, and now its just like.... blah
Day 29....
Bass still hasnt answered his phone....
and Justin I think bailed.... >.>
I swear,.... I hate people who bail... I really REALLY do.
Tomorrow.... is gonna be fun :]
Maybe I'll finish this blog later
----
Ok, so!
I was thinking about describing the new... crew... I guess you can 'kinda' call us that.
I'd be the quiet smart-ass who gets angry and hurt way too much... I look to the past too much...
Andrew is just the overly smart-ass whos a prick sorta... and a smart ass can be taken two different ways.... as a smart-ass, and someone way too smart lol
Chip is the dumbass, hyper, and.... yea... kinda rude... or really rude actually...
And Jared, as an addition to the crew... is... idk really. He is himself... hyper and.... idk,... he kinda-ish reminds me of a good guy... or a bad guy gone good lol :]
Why am I always the girl in the crew? Last time yes, there was alayna and rosa,... but alayna was never around, and idk if anyone went to rosa to vent... except her brother and her bf
But its kinda funny, with just me chip and andrew....
I get mad easily, but I get over it in a day, and dont expect a sorry....
chip gets mad at the STUPID things, and always expects a sorry, and says he wont talk to someone till he gets a sorry
Andrew kinda just, doesnt give a shit, but gets really irritated, but knows how to hide it
Jared just doesnt get angry lol
Ok, I dont feel like blogging about this anymore... lol I'll finish some other time
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Day 28
Ok so I think I've calmed down a little bit about the whole Chip thing....
Even if he does almost makes me cry sometimes.... I know he doesnt mean it, at least I hope he doesnt.... but when I get super angry, I start to cry... [OMFG MY CAT JUST SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!! Its fucking dark as all hell and he just runs across the bed and jumps up onto my headboard]
Anyways.... yea a lot of times I cry when im hella pissed off. He just.... idk, changed sooo fricken much.... he was sooo respectful when I first met him. But than again when I first met him he had a crush on me.... Funny how that goes....
Your super nice only to get a girl but after becoming friends, and no longer have the 'crush' relationship,..... they become a total bitch. [not saying for all guys]
Anyways,... today was great... sorta, in a way...
So chip got a job two days ago, Jared got a job yesterday, and today Andrew got a job!! :D yay...
now im gonna break the chain xDD
But Im SERIOUSLY trying to focus on building/doing my shop this month I hope...
Still, Im still thinking of if I should REALLY do it here.
Anyways.... yea, I spent the whole day with Jared and the boys....
End of story...
Ok, not really, but yea,... the high light of my day was finally hanging out with Klaa and going to his house to watch The Avatar.... It was alright....
But yea, I was just like 'awww' throughout the whole movie :]
Cause I got to lay with Jared. Awwww
But the whole time I kept seeing the girls there, I was still all like,.... idk...
They are way too super pretty lol for their own good xD
Abby seems nice though.... I miss my Abby though =/ [she was one of my best friends way back when]
Oh! I tried re-dying my hair.... yea... well it had exploded in the bag [note, I have pink, turquoise, black, and 3 purple different dyes in the same bag] and I had taken it on the plane to and from Cali.... so yea, thats what made the real mess.....
Oh!! Than Jared was talking about his plan for the solarfest thing.... and it just made me smile :] Like, alot.... :] He makes me smile period.
Day 28...
No answer from Bass
I got to talk to Damien. I miss my best friend :[
My dad seemed very very mad today =/
I hate seeing him mad all the time... it upsets me
We got locked out of the house
I wish I could just fall asleep in Jared's arms for once
Today was a good, yet bad day....
It rained alot D<
Klaa is coming to solarfest with us....
Im excited.... at least when Jared leaves to wonder off, I could probably stick by Klaa lol
Tonight is my last night to eat junk food till solarfest
Oh, I hooked up my printer.... but didnt work D<
I MISS JARED ALREADY!!
:]
Even if he does almost makes me cry sometimes.... I know he doesnt mean it, at least I hope he doesnt.... but when I get super angry, I start to cry... [OMFG MY CAT JUST SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!! Its fucking dark as all hell and he just runs across the bed and jumps up onto my headboard]
Anyways.... yea a lot of times I cry when im hella pissed off. He just.... idk, changed sooo fricken much.... he was sooo respectful when I first met him. But than again when I first met him he had a crush on me.... Funny how that goes....
Your super nice only to get a girl but after becoming friends, and no longer have the 'crush' relationship,..... they become a total bitch. [not saying for all guys]
Anyways,... today was great... sorta, in a way...
So chip got a job two days ago, Jared got a job yesterday, and today Andrew got a job!! :D yay...
now im gonna break the chain xDD
But Im SERIOUSLY trying to focus on building/doing my shop this month I hope...
Still, Im still thinking of if I should REALLY do it here.
Anyways.... yea, I spent the whole day with Jared and the boys....
End of story...
Ok, not really, but yea,... the high light of my day was finally hanging out with Klaa and going to his house to watch The Avatar.... It was alright....
But yea, I was just like 'awww' throughout the whole movie :]
Cause I got to lay with Jared. Awwww
But the whole time I kept seeing the girls there, I was still all like,.... idk...
They are way too super pretty lol for their own good xD
Abby seems nice though.... I miss my Abby though =/ [she was one of my best friends way back when]
Oh! I tried re-dying my hair.... yea... well it had exploded in the bag [note, I have pink, turquoise, black, and 3 purple different dyes in the same bag] and I had taken it on the plane to and from Cali.... so yea, thats what made the real mess.....
Oh!! Than Jared was talking about his plan for the solarfest thing.... and it just made me smile :] Like, alot.... :] He makes me smile period.
Day 28...
No answer from Bass
I got to talk to Damien. I miss my best friend :[
My dad seemed very very mad today =/
I hate seeing him mad all the time... it upsets me
We got locked out of the house
I wish I could just fall asleep in Jared's arms for once
Today was a good, yet bad day....
It rained alot D<
Klaa is coming to solarfest with us....
Im excited.... at least when Jared leaves to wonder off, I could probably stick by Klaa lol
Tonight is my last night to eat junk food till solarfest
Oh, I hooked up my printer.... but didnt work D<
I MISS JARED ALREADY!!
:]
Day 27
So I REALLY dont feel like talking about yesterday....
Chip came into my room, and I said something snappy, and he goes and calls me names...
Ok, seriously? What the fuck?
I would NEVER go into Bass's mom's room, complain about something, and expect her to know what to do right than and there, and if she got upset, because she was trying to do shit... I wouldnt go and call her names... fuck that! She might kick me out, plus you just dont go around calling people shit when they are providing you a home!!! Seriously? Where is the fucking respect?
I've lived with lots of people, and I stay the fuck out of their way, because their life was set.... they do certain things at certain times of the day,... and than here I come, barging into their life...
Fuck,... when I lived with certain people, I would get on the computer maybe.... 10 minutes a day....
These people come and take my computer for hours... or I'll let them have it, and they are just messing around, and than they get mad cause they cant make a logo that they should have done 5 hours ago!!!
I love them to death, but seriously.... Im not changing my life for them. They have a couch, a t.v. food, shower, and a roof over their head, thats all I should be providing for them. They are not my roommates.... they are bums! [again, I love them to death lol]
Andrew isnt much of a problem,... He actually seems to take in consideration that food isnt free, and he is not paying for it, not like chip, whenever I walk out, he is eating everything, and eats like 2 or 3 plates of food for dinner.
I almost got so fricken mad yesterday, I almost told him to just get out of the house.... not to kick him out, but to make him go out and do something for the day....
Than he gets mad cause I told him not to go out the front door after my dad went to sleep.... AFTER MY DAD WAS THE ONE SAYING THEY CANT GO OUT THERE TO SMOKE! they have to use the patio.... because one, the neighbors dont want to hear his voice all night long on the damn phone outside!!! and no one wants to wake up to the doors opening and closing all night...
Seriously, when I set rules,... DONT ARGUE!
Shit....
At least after I said all he does is sit around, doesnt clean, doesnt throw out the trash... I WAS HIS CLOTHES,... he finally got off his ass and did things, which made me happy that he at least listens...
Seriously, when I look back to when I lived with people, I cooked my own food, bought my own food, cleaned the whole house, hardly ever used someone else's computer unless if it was at my grandparents, I only really used it when they went to sleep, I WASHED the dishes [didnt just stick the damn things in the dish washer so they come out still dirty] I never asked a ride anywhere! I never asked for money, I would eat just a little to make sure everyone else had enough, or what they wanted, didnt drink like 5 cans of soda every single day, and I defiantly wouldnt leave my shit out in the livingroom! I NEVER back talked, even to my friends if I was living with them [unless we were dating] Seriously, how the hell did I get kicked out? Oh, not to mention I was going to school and had a job! shit.... And he never said sorry, when he expects Andrew to say sorry for waking him up one day...
I dont mean to complain so much but as soon as one thing goes up, another comes down.... Every time something great happens, something horrible happens... why-does-this-always-happen?!
Like.... As soon as my mom got better, the doctor said she could come home, the next few days, she was worse than before!!!
Anyways, I was trying to work on my profile all day, but I just now finished it....
yea.... myspace.com/xxdarkangelxxd
Whatever.... I just hope friday night & Sat go good.... I really hope nothing gets screwed up... I really really REALLY hope that everything goes according to plan.
andrew helped me apply/register for college yesterday....
I talked to Jared kinda a bit-ish yesterday...
I made dreads yesterday....
I talked to Jared even more yesterday.... :]
He makes me smile....
ok, Im tired, and hungry, and..... I kinda-ish wanna get ready.....
so yea
Day 27
Still cant get ahold of Bass...
His sister never responded to my message that I wanted to give to her mom SO I CAN GET MY STUFF BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I found out why I've been getting achne lately...
Cause Im getting so fucking stressed out all the time!!
I cried lastnight for the first time in forever.... =/
Was a very irritating day...
Watched Serority Row...
It was gross, but I quickly got irritated with something, so didnt even finish it.
I wanna watch Poyno today!! or whatever its called
Chip came into my room, and I said something snappy, and he goes and calls me names...
Ok, seriously? What the fuck?
I would NEVER go into Bass's mom's room, complain about something, and expect her to know what to do right than and there, and if she got upset, because she was trying to do shit... I wouldnt go and call her names... fuck that! She might kick me out, plus you just dont go around calling people shit when they are providing you a home!!! Seriously? Where is the fucking respect?
I've lived with lots of people, and I stay the fuck out of their way, because their life was set.... they do certain things at certain times of the day,... and than here I come, barging into their life...
Fuck,... when I lived with certain people, I would get on the computer maybe.... 10 minutes a day....
These people come and take my computer for hours... or I'll let them have it, and they are just messing around, and than they get mad cause they cant make a logo that they should have done 5 hours ago!!!
I love them to death, but seriously.... Im not changing my life for them. They have a couch, a t.v. food, shower, and a roof over their head, thats all I should be providing for them. They are not my roommates.... they are bums! [again, I love them to death lol]
Andrew isnt much of a problem,... He actually seems to take in consideration that food isnt free, and he is not paying for it, not like chip, whenever I walk out, he is eating everything, and eats like 2 or 3 plates of food for dinner.
I almost got so fricken mad yesterday, I almost told him to just get out of the house.... not to kick him out, but to make him go out and do something for the day....
Than he gets mad cause I told him not to go out the front door after my dad went to sleep.... AFTER MY DAD WAS THE ONE SAYING THEY CANT GO OUT THERE TO SMOKE! they have to use the patio.... because one, the neighbors dont want to hear his voice all night long on the damn phone outside!!! and no one wants to wake up to the doors opening and closing all night...
Seriously, when I set rules,... DONT ARGUE!
Shit....
At least after I said all he does is sit around, doesnt clean, doesnt throw out the trash... I WAS HIS CLOTHES,... he finally got off his ass and did things, which made me happy that he at least listens...
Seriously, when I look back to when I lived with people, I cooked my own food, bought my own food, cleaned the whole house, hardly ever used someone else's computer unless if it was at my grandparents, I only really used it when they went to sleep, I WASHED the dishes [didnt just stick the damn things in the dish washer so they come out still dirty] I never asked a ride anywhere! I never asked for money, I would eat just a little to make sure everyone else had enough, or what they wanted, didnt drink like 5 cans of soda every single day, and I defiantly wouldnt leave my shit out in the livingroom! I NEVER back talked, even to my friends if I was living with them [unless we were dating] Seriously, how the hell did I get kicked out? Oh, not to mention I was going to school and had a job! shit.... And he never said sorry, when he expects Andrew to say sorry for waking him up one day...
I dont mean to complain so much but as soon as one thing goes up, another comes down.... Every time something great happens, something horrible happens... why-does-this-always-happen?!
Like.... As soon as my mom got better, the doctor said she could come home, the next few days, she was worse than before!!!
Anyways, I was trying to work on my profile all day, but I just now finished it....
yea.... myspace.com/xxdarkangelxxd
Whatever.... I just hope friday night & Sat go good.... I really hope nothing gets screwed up... I really really REALLY hope that everything goes according to plan.
andrew helped me apply/register for college yesterday....
I talked to Jared kinda a bit-ish yesterday...
I made dreads yesterday....
I talked to Jared even more yesterday.... :]
He makes me smile....
ok, Im tired, and hungry, and..... I kinda-ish wanna get ready.....
so yea
Day 27
Still cant get ahold of Bass...
His sister never responded to my message that I wanted to give to her mom SO I CAN GET MY STUFF BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I found out why I've been getting achne lately...
Cause Im getting so fucking stressed out all the time!!
I cried lastnight for the first time in forever.... =/
Was a very irritating day...
Watched Serority Row...
It was gross, but I quickly got irritated with something, so didnt even finish it.
I wanna watch Poyno today!! or whatever its called
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Day 26th 4:20
Ok, so this morning I was getting irritated getting ready, irritated all morning till Jared came over....
Anyways, to make this all short, Jared and Andrew filled out a few applications while Chip was getting a job interview... and guess what? He got the job!! go chip!! yaaay
Anyways,.... so we all got on the bus to go downtown, and some weird guy was talking to us on the bus, and said that Brandon could be my lover.... if he had a million $ no offense, but I wouldnt date him if he had 5 million... to me its all about love, and getting along.... And he kept saying that I should be with chip or something like that, I just wanted to get up and cling onto Jared.... Than he said that Jared was a player!! went to the capital where they were doing the whole 4:20 shit, and almost as soon as we got there, Jared took me to Subway :] Than we went to the movies to see what time they were playing.... and we missed it. the next showing was at 7 pm =[
But we walked around and came back to the capital... and some guy walking by was all like 'do you know whats going on?' omg, really? Seriously?
haha... Oh, I forgot to mention, I totally saved Jared's ass from a bus haha.
[im too tired to write about all of today]
Um lets see, everyone was smoking..... there was a huge ass crowd,.... there was this guy making balloon stuffs.... I really wanted one.... We found Brandon and Andrew...... Brandon still gets on my nerves.....
um..... I got to hold jared's hand almost all daaayyyy :]
er.... We went to subway again, went to the skate park, than Me and Jared left and went to the movies <333 ^-^
Saw Alice In Wonderland.....
I liked it.... I think it could have had a little bit more crazy-cool-ness but oh well.
And I got to lay on his lap the whole time,...
And Im totally sounding lame right now xD
Which reminds me... he takes his laptop outside to talk to me when he goes to smoke a cig... how cute??? ^-^
Ok, I don wanna hear how cute it is from anyone else especially from chip, cause it HELLA makes me blush
Lets see.... we went to this bar place thingy and they had a few beers, and we had some fricken good nachos
And Brandon still pisses me off....
I think that was the only bad part of my day, was the fact that day by day brandon makes me more and more upset,... love him, but sometimes I just wanna put tape over his mouth haha. stupid brother of mine.
lets see..... idk what else happened today, but it was HELLA fun. And, idk, I was fricken happy....
All I can say is 'I cant wait to see him again....' ='( But I wish I could now lol
Day 26
I didnt smoke, never have, never will
No answer from Bass
Jared makes me happy :] and hes super silly and cute lol
My dad got printer paper, so I'll be printing, and posting lots of pictures in my room...
and making dreads all day tomorrow...
And ima see if I can still skate, so I can show Jared that I can too skate....
just too afraid to fall
Anyways, to make this all short, Jared and Andrew filled out a few applications while Chip was getting a job interview... and guess what? He got the job!! go chip!! yaaay
Anyways,.... so we all got on the bus to go downtown, and some weird guy was talking to us on the bus, and said that Brandon could be my lover.... if he had a million $ no offense, but I wouldnt date him if he had 5 million... to me its all about love, and getting along.... And he kept saying that I should be with chip or something like that, I just wanted to get up and cling onto Jared.... Than he said that Jared was a player!! went to the capital where they were doing the whole 4:20 shit, and almost as soon as we got there, Jared took me to Subway :] Than we went to the movies to see what time they were playing.... and we missed it. the next showing was at 7 pm =[
But we walked around and came back to the capital... and some guy walking by was all like 'do you know whats going on?' omg, really? Seriously?
haha... Oh, I forgot to mention, I totally saved Jared's ass from a bus haha.
[im too tired to write about all of today]
Um lets see, everyone was smoking..... there was a huge ass crowd,.... there was this guy making balloon stuffs.... I really wanted one.... We found Brandon and Andrew...... Brandon still gets on my nerves.....
um..... I got to hold jared's hand almost all daaayyyy :]
er.... We went to subway again, went to the skate park, than Me and Jared left and went to the movies <333 ^-^
Saw Alice In Wonderland.....
I liked it.... I think it could have had a little bit more crazy-cool-ness but oh well.
And I got to lay on his lap the whole time,...
And Im totally sounding lame right now xD
Which reminds me... he takes his laptop outside to talk to me when he goes to smoke a cig... how cute??? ^-^
Ok, I don wanna hear how cute it is from anyone else especially from chip, cause it HELLA makes me blush
Lets see.... we went to this bar place thingy and they had a few beers, and we had some fricken good nachos
And Brandon still pisses me off....
I think that was the only bad part of my day, was the fact that day by day brandon makes me more and more upset,... love him, but sometimes I just wanna put tape over his mouth haha. stupid brother of mine.
lets see..... idk what else happened today, but it was HELLA fun. And, idk, I was fricken happy....
All I can say is 'I cant wait to see him again....' ='( But I wish I could now lol
Day 26
I didnt smoke, never have, never will
No answer from Bass
Jared makes me happy :] and hes super silly and cute lol
My dad got printer paper, so I'll be printing, and posting lots of pictures in my room...
and making dreads all day tomorrow...
And ima see if I can still skate, so I can show Jared that I can too skate....
just too afraid to fall
25th Day
Ok... So I woke up to Andrew and Chip being mad at each other,.....
They figured things out, but I think being in the house gets us all stressed out....
I dont even know what to think about this whole situation....
And I hope Andrew finds a settle place soon....
Anyways, ima make this short.
Today we walked all the way to the cricket store, I got a new phone, which I LOVE btw [I would love it even more if Jared had a phone that I could text him at] and we met with my friend Greg... actually He was standing next to me the whole time I was buying the phone, and didnt even notice.
Talk about creepy haha.
Anyways,.... we headed home, than Greg, chip, and andrew went to the skate park, and I stayed home, took a nap, ate dinner, made dreads [idk what the fuck is going on with my steamer, it keeps leaking out water and its fucking with my dreads] set up my printer, and than Andrew helped me set up my website!!!
I'll post it once I get it finished....
Anyways.... yea, I didnt get to talk to Jared much at all today =[
Whaa...
But I get to see him tomorrow!! :D
Cause hes taking me out to the movies. Last time someone took me out on a movie date ish type thingy.... was.... like, a year ago!! No joke, seriously =/
Like I went to the movies with Bass.... but I paid,... for both of us...
And still... that was like,... twilight new moon,.... so that was still a little while ago.
Day 25....
I sent a message to Franky about Bass's mom sending me atleast some of my stuff.... just one box...
No response...
Called Bass.... No response.
Yesterday I said some stuff to Jared.... that I dont think I should have talked about so soon....
Im too tired to talk about today..... was not very eventful anyways
I still need to go to a corprate cricket store inorder to transfer all my contact list to my new phone
some guy asked me out today.... and I said no :]
I hope tomorrow goes well
They figured things out, but I think being in the house gets us all stressed out....
I dont even know what to think about this whole situation....
And I hope Andrew finds a settle place soon....
Anyways, ima make this short.
Today we walked all the way to the cricket store, I got a new phone, which I LOVE btw [I would love it even more if Jared had a phone that I could text him at] and we met with my friend Greg... actually He was standing next to me the whole time I was buying the phone, and didnt even notice.
Talk about creepy haha.
Anyways,.... we headed home, than Greg, chip, and andrew went to the skate park, and I stayed home, took a nap, ate dinner, made dreads [idk what the fuck is going on with my steamer, it keeps leaking out water and its fucking with my dreads] set up my printer, and than Andrew helped me set up my website!!!
I'll post it once I get it finished....
Anyways.... yea, I didnt get to talk to Jared much at all today =[
Whaa...
But I get to see him tomorrow!! :D
Cause hes taking me out to the movies. Last time someone took me out on a movie date ish type thingy.... was.... like, a year ago!! No joke, seriously =/
Like I went to the movies with Bass.... but I paid,... for both of us...
And still... that was like,... twilight new moon,.... so that was still a little while ago.
Day 25....
I sent a message to Franky about Bass's mom sending me atleast some of my stuff.... just one box...
No response...
Called Bass.... No response.
Yesterday I said some stuff to Jared.... that I dont think I should have talked about so soon....
Im too tired to talk about today..... was not very eventful anyways
I still need to go to a corprate cricket store inorder to transfer all my contact list to my new phone
some guy asked me out today.... and I said no :]
I hope tomorrow goes well
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Day 24 =/
Boys are pervs... And its funny... and,... its not. And its confusing.... and its uncomfortable.
I can be soooo anti-sex, that it pretty much ruins my life...
Same with my shyness
Lets see,... all I can remember about today was,.... everyone was hogging my computer, so I ended up just going to the office to use the computer there...
Andrew was having a hard time trying to find a place to stay cause everything just went downhill....
And so I had to have a little talk about it with my dad, and after, he seemed to be in an 'alright' mood,... but when I was about to leave to hang out with Jared, he seemed upset... idk why...
Anyways, I met Jared's mom today. she seemed nice :]
We went to the skate park, and today I was bored as SHIT!!! idk what was with today....
Had a pretty good talk with Andrew and his situation.... and other stuff
I only liked the walk home. for multiple reasons.
Man, I really cant remember much of what happened today. stupid memory problem. Anyways.... idk, Im in a good, yet not good mood right now, and just dont feel like talking about today.
But I did send a message to D about coming out here to work for me, and he thought it was a great idea, which totally made me happy!
I really wanted to skateboard just to show Jared that I can actually skate,... maybe not do much, but at least I can stand on a skateboard and get from point A to point B... But I also dont even want to get on a skateboard....
[im fricken tired]
anyways,... my chance of winning in this contest is like, going down hill cause I cant get online enough, I need to finish my dreads, I need to make my website,... ugh! Im soooo far behind!
ugh, today is just a confusing day... I don know what to say about it.... there was a lot of bad parts of the day that I just dont want to get into. I wanna, but I dont....
Day 24...
Its cold...
Im tired...
No word from Bass...
I got to hold Jared's hand for like 2 seconds,....
Oh! Tuesday 4/20 Jared is totally ditching Chip to take me to the movies to see Alice In Wonderland ^-^
He told his mom he sorta likes me... it made me smile
I have a feeling Im going to be holding back a LOT of my words with certain people(s)
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Day 23
Today was a rather busy day....
I didnt get to talk to Jared at all last night. oh well. Anyways, my dad woke me up early, and Brandon and Andrew never came home lastnight.... and they apparently were sleeping out on the streets, so I was a bit worried...
Anyways, we went down to the springs to return our broken t.v. and got a new one, as well as a new tiny camera for me :] Yay cause now I can take cute lil pics again, and with friends too, and I can take videos again. yaaay.
Anyways, what else.... hm...
I cant really remember, except me and my dad were talking alot. I dont want to give all the details cause I dont want anyone to steal the idea, but I do sorta wanna share it with someone.... I asked around sorta, and I hear the goth community is pretty decent here... which is ok....
My dad has enough money for me to move to cali now, if I really wanted, but if I do that, I'll be moving to Turlock, which is a small town, or,.... I can have a goth shop here like... now, and maybe have my friends move out here [this is a part I dont want to give away] and stay here for a year or two, and than I can move to a bigger city by myself and have yet another goth shop if I want.... and have my dad run the one here in Denver....
I kinda wanna stay in Denver, but I know I hate it here, and I miss all my friends in Cali so much...
I know my dad wants to be part of this goth shop, and I know I want at least 3 friends to work for me.....
Oh, and Seattle would be a good place too....
But there is already a goth shop here, and I know people love going there, but whenever Im there, its always just me and my friends, no one else....
And from what I know, a lot of people think the owner is kinda mean. I mean shes nice and cool, but she can be really.... idk, rude-ish.
Anyways, I finally got home, just in time to wait for Jared to get online, talk a little, and than Brandon, Andrew, and Klaa all showed up at my door. shiot.
They for some odd ass reason wanted me to go to Klaa's house so... he could edit the pictures from the other day and send them to me....
Which he never did do... and all the ones of me in them looked like CRAP!!! omg, I hate how I look sometimes... Especially when there were two other pretty girls at Klaa's house...
Yea.... =/ idk... kljld;sdskl;ds
Anyways, Chip decided to send me a message saying he was mad at me cause I take things too seriously... one, we're like brothers and sisters, two, he just gets on my nerves, not that I take his jokes seriously and dont know how to joke around, its the getting on my nerves part.... so we got into a fight, but worked things out, and I think its a lot better now....
Anyways, I hardly got to talk to Jared at all really.... which was rather irritating, cause.... I dont know, it was just upsetting me, yet, idk, I was happy about something [and since he reads my blogs, I'd rather not say lol] But yea, after a while of just sitting around, we headed back home....
Chip made some steaks, andrew needed to do shit on the computer, I made more dreads..... and yea,... Im tired as all hell.
Day 23....
Bass still doesnt answer his phone. Im about to message his sister again and ask for my stuff yet again...
Got a working computer and new camera...
Almost got a new cell.... Maybe I'll do that tomorrow or Monday
I called my voicemail from my home phone, and got 3 messages from my dad....
yay, I feel soooo loved =/
Im wondering if I should wait a year or two to have my shop in cali, or have a shop now in denver and stay for a couple of years....
but I know I have friends back at home waiting. What should I do?
I feel like Im forgetting something...
chip was gonna walk to the springs tomorrow, but idk if he is anymore or not
anyways... I have not posted this often
Ask me anything... no really, ask! http://formspring.me/deafbats
I didnt get to talk to Jared at all last night. oh well. Anyways, my dad woke me up early, and Brandon and Andrew never came home lastnight.... and they apparently were sleeping out on the streets, so I was a bit worried...
Anyways, we went down to the springs to return our broken t.v. and got a new one, as well as a new tiny camera for me :] Yay cause now I can take cute lil pics again, and with friends too, and I can take videos again. yaaay.
Anyways, what else.... hm...
I cant really remember, except me and my dad were talking alot. I dont want to give all the details cause I dont want anyone to steal the idea, but I do sorta wanna share it with someone.... I asked around sorta, and I hear the goth community is pretty decent here... which is ok....
My dad has enough money for me to move to cali now, if I really wanted, but if I do that, I'll be moving to Turlock, which is a small town, or,.... I can have a goth shop here like... now, and maybe have my friends move out here [this is a part I dont want to give away] and stay here for a year or two, and than I can move to a bigger city by myself and have yet another goth shop if I want.... and have my dad run the one here in Denver....
I kinda wanna stay in Denver, but I know I hate it here, and I miss all my friends in Cali so much...
I know my dad wants to be part of this goth shop, and I know I want at least 3 friends to work for me.....
Oh, and Seattle would be a good place too....
But there is already a goth shop here, and I know people love going there, but whenever Im there, its always just me and my friends, no one else....
And from what I know, a lot of people think the owner is kinda mean. I mean shes nice and cool, but she can be really.... idk, rude-ish.
Anyways, I finally got home, just in time to wait for Jared to get online, talk a little, and than Brandon, Andrew, and Klaa all showed up at my door. shiot.
They for some odd ass reason wanted me to go to Klaa's house so... he could edit the pictures from the other day and send them to me....
Which he never did do... and all the ones of me in them looked like CRAP!!! omg, I hate how I look sometimes... Especially when there were two other pretty girls at Klaa's house...
Yea.... =/ idk... kljld;sdskl;ds
Anyways, Chip decided to send me a message saying he was mad at me cause I take things too seriously... one, we're like brothers and sisters, two, he just gets on my nerves, not that I take his jokes seriously and dont know how to joke around, its the getting on my nerves part.... so we got into a fight, but worked things out, and I think its a lot better now....
Anyways, I hardly got to talk to Jared at all really.... which was rather irritating, cause.... I dont know, it was just upsetting me, yet, idk, I was happy about something [and since he reads my blogs, I'd rather not say lol] But yea, after a while of just sitting around, we headed back home....
Chip made some steaks, andrew needed to do shit on the computer, I made more dreads..... and yea,... Im tired as all hell.
Day 23....
Bass still doesnt answer his phone. Im about to message his sister again and ask for my stuff yet again...
Got a working computer and new camera...
Almost got a new cell.... Maybe I'll do that tomorrow or Monday
I called my voicemail from my home phone, and got 3 messages from my dad....
yay, I feel soooo loved =/
Im wondering if I should wait a year or two to have my shop in cali, or have a shop now in denver and stay for a couple of years....
but I know I have friends back at home waiting. What should I do?
I feel like Im forgetting something...
chip was gonna walk to the springs tomorrow, but idk if he is anymore or not
anyways... I have not posted this often
Ask me anything... no really, ask! http://formspring.me/deafbats
Day 22
Ok, so last night Jared and Klaa did actually come over!
And for some reason I got shy.... dont ask, but the shyness just like, hit me.
Anyways, We tried hooking up Jared's xbox to my dad's t.v. but it didnt work. Poo....
Not like I would have played.... if crow was on, I would have had them mess with him though haha.
So we than watched some stuff on youtube, ate icecream, took pictures of my cat, and watched some 'Vampires Assistant' and ended up falling asleep.
Klaa fell asleep first, than Jared, than Chip, than me,... or than me than chip. Whatever,...
But I couldnt sleep for shit. One the way I was laying hecka hurt my sunburn, two My cat was in the way, three,... No comment :]
I kept dozing off, and was in a... idk what you call it... Where your dreaming but your awake. I hate it when that happens.... especially when you have a weird ass dream, or you have a nightmare... which seems to happen on a regular daily bases.
Anyways, so I didnt really fall asleep at all, but thats ok because when I wasnt asleep and having weird dreams, I was smiling, yet I wasnt.
omgijustwantedtorolloverandlaynexttohim
Yea, it was cute. I thought Jared was sleeping on my cat at one point of time. I wanted to take pictures. xp
But yea, I couldnt sleep, so I just went to my room and went to bed....
Than someone called and no one was answering, so I got up, and answered, and eventually went back to bed on the couch....
omgiwasgettingsadcauseiwantedahug
lol! Well I cant remember how long I had fallen back asleep, but it seriously felt like that whole night I had about 30 minutes of sleep....
Anyways, andrew called and said we had an hour n' 30 minutes to get our asses up and out.... What?!?! Ugh! No =[ I seriously didnt want to get up at alllll!!!
Eventually we got up and out... and when we picked him up, two people walked up to me....
And guess what?!
one of them was a kid I went to middle and high school with back in California!!
Shit...
Marcis. I actually had a crush on him for probably.... half a year or a little more.
He used to call me the grudge girl cause of my long black hair.... and make fun of me till high school pretty much. And I think one of my old best friends went out with him and such.
but omg, that was crazy shit right there. Crazy.
Anyways, the 5 of us went to the park, me and Klaa took pictures, and he got some of me and Jared ^-^
What is all this Jared talk? o.o
Anyways,... after a while we walked down town, lost chip and andrew, found them in hottopic...
Yo! downtown Denver is the shit... ok, I didnt know they had like a mall mall outside, I thought it was just called... shit, I forgot what the street is called...
But they had a hottopic, and gonna have a forever 21, and yea,... all that.
I found a hat I liked,... well Jared kinda did. :] I wants it.
Oh, and they had a coyote ugly. I seriously just thought that was only a movie thing.
---cant remember the rest of the day----
Went to things that glow, returned shit, but they only do store credit. shit =[
oh well
I got what I wanted anyways. Anyways, eventually we went home, andrew and chip ditched me, and I dont think chip is even coming to the springs with me tomorrow at all, nor do I think he is coming to the SCA event with me =[ I hate going to those things alone.
Anyways, my dad and I started watching the buttefly effect 3... it sucked!!!
After a while I wondered off to bed so I could try and catch Jared to talk to him online....
I waited for a good while and he never came on, so I went to sleep, he got on, than got off, I got on, and... yea =[ We just kept missing each other, and never got to talk.
Im pretty sad.
And what makes it even more depressing,... is we missed each other, and I hate sleeping alone. I didnt even bother talking to anyone else....
But im tired as fuck, so whatever.
It made me smile when Jared went to remind me to post day 22...
And when I saw my name in his status.
Ok! dont ask why it made me smile...
I think I put waaaay too much information on here for my own good =/
p.s.
I need to get off my lazy ass and get a fricken job!!!
I need to finish the dreads that Im getting $ for...
I NEED TO REGISTER FOR COLLEGE!!! omg, I need to do that like,... tomorrow!
I need to register so I can fricken take my Business class! grrr!! Why am I getting so lazy all of the sudden.
And I need to get my license! Because im still hoping for a car before the 24th, but with my lazyness... not gonna happen. Thats exactly a week away...
Oh, and about applying at Raves Oh My Goth, Andrew said he worked there, and she is a total bitch... so Guess im not gonna apply there :]
I'll just have my own online for now once I get it started
Day 22
Shhh~ Pretend you never read this.
I called Bass maybe just once or twice today....
Thats all.
No word from him
I wanted to make cookies, and never wanted to get up this morning.
I really wish I could have talked to Jared over IM
idk why I want to so bad tho o.O
<3
And for some reason I got shy.... dont ask, but the shyness just like, hit me.
Anyways, We tried hooking up Jared's xbox to my dad's t.v. but it didnt work. Poo....
Not like I would have played.... if crow was on, I would have had them mess with him though haha.
So we than watched some stuff on youtube, ate icecream, took pictures of my cat, and watched some 'Vampires Assistant' and ended up falling asleep.
Klaa fell asleep first, than Jared, than Chip, than me,... or than me than chip. Whatever,...
But I couldnt sleep for shit. One the way I was laying hecka hurt my sunburn, two My cat was in the way, three,... No comment :]
I kept dozing off, and was in a... idk what you call it... Where your dreaming but your awake. I hate it when that happens.... especially when you have a weird ass dream, or you have a nightmare... which seems to happen on a regular daily bases.
Anyways, so I didnt really fall asleep at all, but thats ok because when I wasnt asleep and having weird dreams, I was smiling, yet I wasnt.
omgijustwantedtorolloverandlaynexttohim
Yea, it was cute. I thought Jared was sleeping on my cat at one point of time. I wanted to take pictures. xp
But yea, I couldnt sleep, so I just went to my room and went to bed....
Than someone called and no one was answering, so I got up, and answered, and eventually went back to bed on the couch....
omgiwasgettingsadcauseiwantedahug
lol! Well I cant remember how long I had fallen back asleep, but it seriously felt like that whole night I had about 30 minutes of sleep....
Anyways, andrew called and said we had an hour n' 30 minutes to get our asses up and out.... What?!?! Ugh! No =[ I seriously didnt want to get up at alllll!!!
Eventually we got up and out... and when we picked him up, two people walked up to me....
And guess what?!
one of them was a kid I went to middle and high school with back in California!!
Shit...
Marcis. I actually had a crush on him for probably.... half a year or a little more.
He used to call me the grudge girl cause of my long black hair.... and make fun of me till high school pretty much. And I think one of my old best friends went out with him and such.
but omg, that was crazy shit right there. Crazy.
Anyways, the 5 of us went to the park, me and Klaa took pictures, and he got some of me and Jared ^-^
What is all this Jared talk? o.o
Anyways,... after a while we walked down town, lost chip and andrew, found them in hottopic...
Yo! downtown Denver is the shit... ok, I didnt know they had like a mall mall outside, I thought it was just called... shit, I forgot what the street is called...
But they had a hottopic, and gonna have a forever 21, and yea,... all that.
I found a hat I liked,... well Jared kinda did. :] I wants it.
Oh, and they had a coyote ugly. I seriously just thought that was only a movie thing.
---cant remember the rest of the day----
Went to things that glow, returned shit, but they only do store credit. shit =[
oh well
I got what I wanted anyways. Anyways, eventually we went home, andrew and chip ditched me, and I dont think chip is even coming to the springs with me tomorrow at all, nor do I think he is coming to the SCA event with me =[ I hate going to those things alone.
Anyways, my dad and I started watching the buttefly effect 3... it sucked!!!
After a while I wondered off to bed so I could try and catch Jared to talk to him online....
I waited for a good while and he never came on, so I went to sleep, he got on, than got off, I got on, and... yea =[ We just kept missing each other, and never got to talk.
Im pretty sad.
And what makes it even more depressing,... is we missed each other, and I hate sleeping alone. I didnt even bother talking to anyone else....
But im tired as fuck, so whatever.
It made me smile when Jared went to remind me to post day 22...
And when I saw my name in his status.
Ok! dont ask why it made me smile...
I think I put waaaay too much information on here for my own good =/
p.s.
I need to get off my lazy ass and get a fricken job!!!
I need to finish the dreads that Im getting $ for...
I NEED TO REGISTER FOR COLLEGE!!! omg, I need to do that like,... tomorrow!
I need to register so I can fricken take my Business class! grrr!! Why am I getting so lazy all of the sudden.
And I need to get my license! Because im still hoping for a car before the 24th, but with my lazyness... not gonna happen. Thats exactly a week away...
Oh, and about applying at Raves Oh My Goth, Andrew said he worked there, and she is a total bitch... so Guess im not gonna apply there :]
I'll just have my own online for now once I get it started
Day 22
Shhh~ Pretend you never read this.
I called Bass maybe just once or twice today....
Thats all.
No word from him
I wanted to make cookies, and never wanted to get up this morning.
I really wish I could have talked to Jared over IM
idk why I want to so bad tho o.O
<3
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Day 21
I did nothing today,... except was on the computer for most of the day,...
made more dreads, slept, talked a little to chip since I was irritated almost all day, almost anything he did made me mad...
and you know what?
I dont even want to talk about today!!
Was kinda hoping Jared would come chill for a day....
but he couldnt =[ made me sad.
I wanted to watch the vampires assistant and make cookies, and.... idk, but now im just so... blah
today I consumed a... idk what you call it.... tortilla with cheese and corn...
Thats it.
I should eat, but im really not that hungry at all.
Day 21 <-- sounds kinda funny idk
I called bass, but still no answer.
Give up? What if hes in the hospital? What if he really wants to get rid of me?
Me and chip decided we are going to return some stuff we bought,... just too much money was spent... when we can get glowy stuff at a toy store.
I laid in bed all day long, last time I did that I was living with Bass, and we would just chill with each other, and drink tea,...
I miss the old days =[
But the old days are old,... and I need new days with new people
also, I finally posted in my xanga account
http://deafbats.xanga.com/
made more dreads, slept, talked a little to chip since I was irritated almost all day, almost anything he did made me mad...
and you know what?
I dont even want to talk about today!!
Was kinda hoping Jared would come chill for a day....
but he couldnt =[ made me sad.
I wanted to watch the vampires assistant and make cookies, and.... idk, but now im just so... blah
today I consumed a... idk what you call it.... tortilla with cheese and corn...
Thats it.
I should eat, but im really not that hungry at all.
Day 21 <-- sounds kinda funny idk
I called bass, but still no answer.
Give up? What if hes in the hospital? What if he really wants to get rid of me?
Me and chip decided we are going to return some stuff we bought,... just too much money was spent... when we can get glowy stuff at a toy store.
I laid in bed all day long, last time I did that I was living with Bass, and we would just chill with each other, and drink tea,...
I miss the old days =[
But the old days are old,... and I need new days with new people
also, I finally posted in my xanga account
http://deafbats.xanga.com/
Day 20 [yesterday]
omg, im sooo tired.
So yesterday morning, I was getting rather irritated with chip because he wasnt respecting my... whatever you call it... 'rules boundaries,' whatever... but whatever, we figured it out.
Than we went to meet up with our new friend Jared, and took a bus downtown to the skate park...
And of course I havnt skated for like 5 years, so now im too scared to do anything, plus I couldnt leave my camera in my backpack, or put my backpack on if I wanted to learn how to do tricks... if I ever even fricken fell on it, i'd die...
not to mention I cant have any bruises or cuts on me for modeling...
And the fact that Im sunburnt, and have a shoot soon... IS GOING TO SUCK!!!
I might as well reschedule till the tanlines all go the frick away, or go get a full tan, which I dont want to do. lol xp
Anyways,... so I took some pictures, and chilled.... than the three of us went to go get food at mc donalds... downtonw is pretty cool when your walking through there. I liked it :]
So when we got there, some guy was trying to get my number. was hella funny cause all I could say was 'I dont know my number' cause I dont... I really should have my house number written down for emergencies next time. Than chip went to get Jarad to come over there for some reason. lol idk, dont ask.
Than we went down to things that glow, but they were closed. boo... but whatever, we just sat and chilled :]
Oh! we were on this path thingy, next to a river. :] was super pretty, but super tiring lol...
Eventually we made it back to the skate park, where I was getting rather annoyed with my camera, cause I didnt know how to work it at night... I didnt want the flash to go off cause I figured that'd be annoying to people sometimes, especially since that was my first time at Denver skate park.
Oh, totally forgot to mention... I broke my little camera, so meaning no more youtube videos till I get a new camera =[
Im totally bummed out, cause when im with my friends, I use it all the time! Im such a camera whore... that i'll take pictures 'with' my friends and my huge nikon wont really do the trick lol
Anyways, got a little off track.... At some point of time that night there was a huge fight, and I just so happened to have taken pictures from like hella fucking far away, cause I didnt want anyone to notice, and im not a dumb ass and walk up to a fight full of skateboarders, especially when they were using their boards to hit each other with =[
We didnt stay long after that...
the night was over, we went and waited for the bus...
Brandon had a hard time figuring out how to work the damn bike rack. was pretty funny but hey, I was the one asking Jared and chip to take my bike on and off the bus, so I cant say much.
I didnt think much about it tilll chip said something about my dad not coming back till Friday. I had totally forgotten that my dad leaves for washington, and I didnt see him at all yesterday. It made me kinda sad, so I wrote him a note telling him to wake me up in the morning so I could say bye
Day 20....
Still no word from Bass....
He still has not checked his myspace messages...
I dont know if hes alive, or not. All I want is my stuff, and to know that hes alive.....
I no longer care for his fake love.
Im tired, and starving....
my camera is broken,...
But yesterday was a pretty good fricken day ^-^
So yesterday morning, I was getting rather irritated with chip because he wasnt respecting my... whatever you call it... 'rules boundaries,' whatever... but whatever, we figured it out.
Than we went to meet up with our new friend Jared, and took a bus downtown to the skate park...
And of course I havnt skated for like 5 years, so now im too scared to do anything, plus I couldnt leave my camera in my backpack, or put my backpack on if I wanted to learn how to do tricks... if I ever even fricken fell on it, i'd die...
not to mention I cant have any bruises or cuts on me for modeling...
And the fact that Im sunburnt, and have a shoot soon... IS GOING TO SUCK!!!
I might as well reschedule till the tanlines all go the frick away, or go get a full tan, which I dont want to do. lol xp
Anyways,... so I took some pictures, and chilled.... than the three of us went to go get food at mc donalds... downtonw is pretty cool when your walking through there. I liked it :]
So when we got there, some guy was trying to get my number. was hella funny cause all I could say was 'I dont know my number' cause I dont... I really should have my house number written down for emergencies next time. Than chip went to get Jarad to come over there for some reason. lol idk, dont ask.
Than we went down to things that glow, but they were closed. boo... but whatever, we just sat and chilled :]
Oh! we were on this path thingy, next to a river. :] was super pretty, but super tiring lol...
Eventually we made it back to the skate park, where I was getting rather annoyed with my camera, cause I didnt know how to work it at night... I didnt want the flash to go off cause I figured that'd be annoying to people sometimes, especially since that was my first time at Denver skate park.
Oh, totally forgot to mention... I broke my little camera, so meaning no more youtube videos till I get a new camera =[
Im totally bummed out, cause when im with my friends, I use it all the time! Im such a camera whore... that i'll take pictures 'with' my friends and my huge nikon wont really do the trick lol
Anyways, got a little off track.... At some point of time that night there was a huge fight, and I just so happened to have taken pictures from like hella fucking far away, cause I didnt want anyone to notice, and im not a dumb ass and walk up to a fight full of skateboarders, especially when they were using their boards to hit each other with =[
We didnt stay long after that...
the night was over, we went and waited for the bus...
Brandon had a hard time figuring out how to work the damn bike rack. was pretty funny but hey, I was the one asking Jared and chip to take my bike on and off the bus, so I cant say much.
I didnt think much about it tilll chip said something about my dad not coming back till Friday. I had totally forgotten that my dad leaves for washington, and I didnt see him at all yesterday. It made me kinda sad, so I wrote him a note telling him to wake me up in the morning so I could say bye
Day 20....
Still no word from Bass....
He still has not checked his myspace messages...
I dont know if hes alive, or not. All I want is my stuff, and to know that hes alive.....
I no longer care for his fake love.
Im tired, and starving....
my camera is broken,...
But yesterday was a pretty good fricken day ^-^
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Day 19 e.e
[long post] so I had a weird, yet cool dream, and this time it had my dad in it. we were like in a lord of the rings type world, yet it was scary and in like a rundown new york city area or something along those lines.
[blah im too tired to post this]
Anyways, I was supposed to wake chip up early because his friend was going to send money to walmart at like 9, so we were going to ride our bike/skateboard over there....
she ended up not even doing it. Blah. Whatever....
So Brandon [chip] just ended up going to bed and I stayed up as usual... not being able to sleep after really waking up.
Than I was talking to my dad through email, and after a while he told me that Muggle had to get shots at 5, so I needed to be home at like, 4,... which I had told him lastnight that I wasnt going to be home till 5:30
So that kinda upset me slightly....
So I decided to take a nice shower, and chill out...
And as I started to [we dont have curtains in my shower] I watched my cat jump onto the toilet, and than he decided he wanted to jump onto the toilet tank [if you know what Im talking about] but some how missed, flushed the toilet as he tried to jump onto the counter where the towels were at, and my clothes, and my phone which sat ontop of it all, yet kinda off to the side,... the OPPOSITE side of the toilet....
And guess what?
My cat flushed my cellphone down the toilet.....
Yes, thats right.
But luckily I got it out.
But since the toilet was flushing at the moment, my phone was getting sucked in... so meaning... it took me a while to get my phone out.
So my phone no longer works. UGH!
And I had so much information on that phone, important pictures of old friends, numbers, addresses, emails, saved important texts, a bunch of stuff on my memo pads...
Everything from Ronnie, from Bass from Juan... everything important to me.
-sigh- It wouldnt be so horrible if I didnt have such a horrible memory problem....
Or it wouldnt be so horrible if I had someone to talk to on the phone 24/7 like chip does...
I could still use the house phone, but im not that close with anyone anymore, and the only people I am sorta close with only texts.
Im not a big calling person, except for when it came to D, Ronnie, Bass, and.... thats kinda it.
and now someone is like irritated at me cause i was mad cause i just got my phone destroyed
And im not even going to mention the goth store... because supposedly stopping there never existed, which I like it that way... but than again, I dont.
Also, I was watching a movie, and it said that everyone had 3 hours left to live. Imagine that... where would you go? who would you see? who would you call and what would you say? Or would you just run and hide?
Oh well,...
on the good side, I got to hang out with Jared finally! ^-^ and Klaa, and his friend Damien [which was interesting] and of course, Chip aswell... it was super fun ^-^
Very interesting people
And this photographer [I really like some of his pics] wanted to shoot....
And I got my stuff for the 24th
and me and my dad and chip went and got fish tacos today, and tomorrow me jarden and chip are going to the skate park :D but I only has a bike... and.... skaters hate bikers... but I dont even know how to ride a bike in a bowl.... I might as well just sit and photograph them to test out my new camera :]
too bad I dont have fish lenses, that'd be sic
Also, I checked my dad's cell phone, which is shut off, no longer in use...
But I checked his history of incoming phone calls....
it was a very short list, I guess it deletes a lot...
But I called off of Bass's phone once... and it was soon enough that it was still in the phone's history.... What are the odds of that?
At least I can still call Bass...
But even from an unknown number, he wont answer.
Day 19....
Still no word from Bass...
Its been over a month, and I have not heard a word from him. Where are you Bass?
Are you alive?
btw, I still think about people.... from the past, like Bass and Ronnie, the two people who no longer talk to me....
it sucks.... and sleeping alone sucks, and having no one to talk to on the phone till you fall asleep sucks...
btw... how can you tell if your obsessed with someone, or just really madly inlove with someone? what is the difference?
Today was a great, yet horrible day =/
no more late night texts v.v
now the one person I could look for comfort from no longer feels that way.
Whatever,.... its better off that way,... after 6 years...
[blah im too tired to post this]
Anyways, I was supposed to wake chip up early because his friend was going to send money to walmart at like 9, so we were going to ride our bike/skateboard over there....
she ended up not even doing it. Blah. Whatever....
So Brandon [chip] just ended up going to bed and I stayed up as usual... not being able to sleep after really waking up.
Than I was talking to my dad through email, and after a while he told me that Muggle had to get shots at 5, so I needed to be home at like, 4,... which I had told him lastnight that I wasnt going to be home till 5:30
So that kinda upset me slightly....
So I decided to take a nice shower, and chill out...
And as I started to [we dont have curtains in my shower] I watched my cat jump onto the toilet, and than he decided he wanted to jump onto the toilet tank [if you know what Im talking about] but some how missed, flushed the toilet as he tried to jump onto the counter where the towels were at, and my clothes, and my phone which sat ontop of it all, yet kinda off to the side,... the OPPOSITE side of the toilet....
And guess what?
My cat flushed my cellphone down the toilet.....
Yes, thats right.
But luckily I got it out.
But since the toilet was flushing at the moment, my phone was getting sucked in... so meaning... it took me a while to get my phone out.
So my phone no longer works. UGH!
And I had so much information on that phone, important pictures of old friends, numbers, addresses, emails, saved important texts, a bunch of stuff on my memo pads...
Everything from Ronnie, from Bass from Juan... everything important to me.
-sigh- It wouldnt be so horrible if I didnt have such a horrible memory problem....
Or it wouldnt be so horrible if I had someone to talk to on the phone 24/7 like chip does...
I could still use the house phone, but im not that close with anyone anymore, and the only people I am sorta close with only texts.
Im not a big calling person, except for when it came to D, Ronnie, Bass, and.... thats kinda it.
and now someone is like irritated at me cause i was mad cause i just got my phone destroyed
And im not even going to mention the goth store... because supposedly stopping there never existed, which I like it that way... but than again, I dont.
Also, I was watching a movie, and it said that everyone had 3 hours left to live. Imagine that... where would you go? who would you see? who would you call and what would you say? Or would you just run and hide?
Oh well,...
on the good side, I got to hang out with Jared finally! ^-^ and Klaa, and his friend Damien [which was interesting] and of course, Chip aswell... it was super fun ^-^
Very interesting people
And this photographer [I really like some of his pics] wanted to shoot....
And I got my stuff for the 24th
and me and my dad and chip went and got fish tacos today, and tomorrow me jarden and chip are going to the skate park :D but I only has a bike... and.... skaters hate bikers... but I dont even know how to ride a bike in a bowl.... I might as well just sit and photograph them to test out my new camera :]
too bad I dont have fish lenses, that'd be sic
Also, I checked my dad's cell phone, which is shut off, no longer in use...
But I checked his history of incoming phone calls....
it was a very short list, I guess it deletes a lot...
But I called off of Bass's phone once... and it was soon enough that it was still in the phone's history.... What are the odds of that?
At least I can still call Bass...
But even from an unknown number, he wont answer.
Day 19....
Still no word from Bass...
Its been over a month, and I have not heard a word from him. Where are you Bass?
Are you alive?
btw, I still think about people.... from the past, like Bass and Ronnie, the two people who no longer talk to me....
it sucks.... and sleeping alone sucks, and having no one to talk to on the phone till you fall asleep sucks...
btw... how can you tell if your obsessed with someone, or just really madly inlove with someone? what is the difference?
Today was a great, yet horrible day =/
no more late night texts v.v
now the one person I could look for comfort from no longer feels that way.
Whatever,.... its better off that way,... after 6 years...
Monday, April 12, 2010
Day 18
I woke up to a horrid dream...
First off, I couldnt sleep at all last night. I felt like I did nothing but cry because I was either one, missing Bass, two, felt like I was being totally ignored, three,.... idk, I just feel so lost.
And I finally fell asleep for good around 6 something.
Anyways! so I had a dream that my ex fiancee was trying to break up with me cause something HE was doing wrong, than my dad brought him home,... drunk... and just bailed out of jail...
Than he said that we were going to work things out, and stay with each other forever....
But than soon after that, he jumped off of the balcony and into the ocean, trying to kill himself, and I just jumped in right after to try and save him...
Than my mom was trying to cure him.
Lately i've been having lots of dreams of my exs and my mom....
I've been thinking about the past way too much! But I cant help to miss it.... I was happy.
Anyways, so that happened, and than my friend Chip was just bugging me. idk what it was. But oh well, hes like a bro kinda... sorta.... or just a friend I get irritated with. haha.
Anyways, than my so called friend Rics bailed... AGAIN!!! omfg, I got soooo mad. So I just blew up on him, said he could buy his own fricken ticket, get his own backstage passes, and whatever the fuck else.... wanna know why he bailed? cause he had to fix his little car radio, and computer, THAT DAY!!! when he said ahead of time that he was free, and was originally supposed to take us on sat when we planned it a week ahead of time... hes blowing off a lot of people....
but than my friend Klaa said he'd take us to get our tickets tomorrow, and give us a ride to solarfest, but we'd have to find a ride back.... im gonna see if my friend justin will
and klaa offered that I check this job thing out, so ima go do that.... But tomorrow im also going to see if he'll take me so I can apply at Rave :]
My steamer is slowly starting to die.... and I havnt even finished off my first set of dreads to sell... than my friend Andrew said he wanted to sell dreads too... which slightly irritated me...
Andrew has his websites for bands, photography, and modeling...
chip is a promoter,...
and I have my dreads, and hopefully a future goth store...
but oh well...
so bad day dealing with so called friends,
good day with meeting new people....
Day 18...
Still no word from Bass.
I still feel like smacking him across the face if I ever see him again,...
Yet lastnight when I was crying, I wish he would walk through the door and come lay with me, hold me tight, and tell me its alright... Like the olden days,...
which was only a little more than a month ago
Are you out there? Are you alive?
I hope to go somewhere in life soon...
First off, I couldnt sleep at all last night. I felt like I did nothing but cry because I was either one, missing Bass, two, felt like I was being totally ignored, three,.... idk, I just feel so lost.
And I finally fell asleep for good around 6 something.
Anyways! so I had a dream that my ex fiancee was trying to break up with me cause something HE was doing wrong, than my dad brought him home,... drunk... and just bailed out of jail...
Than he said that we were going to work things out, and stay with each other forever....
But than soon after that, he jumped off of the balcony and into the ocean, trying to kill himself, and I just jumped in right after to try and save him...
Than my mom was trying to cure him.
Lately i've been having lots of dreams of my exs and my mom....
I've been thinking about the past way too much! But I cant help to miss it.... I was happy.
Anyways, so that happened, and than my friend Chip was just bugging me. idk what it was. But oh well, hes like a bro kinda... sorta.... or just a friend I get irritated with. haha.
Anyways, than my so called friend Rics bailed... AGAIN!!! omfg, I got soooo mad. So I just blew up on him, said he could buy his own fricken ticket, get his own backstage passes, and whatever the fuck else.... wanna know why he bailed? cause he had to fix his little car radio, and computer, THAT DAY!!! when he said ahead of time that he was free, and was originally supposed to take us on sat when we planned it a week ahead of time... hes blowing off a lot of people....
but than my friend Klaa said he'd take us to get our tickets tomorrow, and give us a ride to solarfest, but we'd have to find a ride back.... im gonna see if my friend justin will
and klaa offered that I check this job thing out, so ima go do that.... But tomorrow im also going to see if he'll take me so I can apply at Rave :]
My steamer is slowly starting to die.... and I havnt even finished off my first set of dreads to sell... than my friend Andrew said he wanted to sell dreads too... which slightly irritated me...
Andrew has his websites for bands, photography, and modeling...
chip is a promoter,...
and I have my dreads, and hopefully a future goth store...
but oh well...
so bad day dealing with so called friends,
good day with meeting new people....
Day 18...
Still no word from Bass.
I still feel like smacking him across the face if I ever see him again,...
Yet lastnight when I was crying, I wish he would walk through the door and come lay with me, hold me tight, and tell me its alright... Like the olden days,...
which was only a little more than a month ago
Are you out there? Are you alive?
I hope to go somewhere in life soon...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Day 17
Lastnight Donnie was trying to get me to talk to an old friend about her getting preg... I HATE when people get preg but cant take care of their child or whatever so that was pissing me off... and I went to bed in a pretty bad mood
This morning I woke up pretty fricken content :]
Than I got invited to this goth party, and found out that my friend is promoting it :]
and hes gonna give me and chip a ride and its on the 23rd. yaay
So that was cool....
than me, chip, and my dad went for a drive for the mountains... than me and chip decided to go hiking... so we walked around ended up walking in the snow.... omg, we kept falling in the snow, like sinking. haha.
than i was talking to Donnie... and he said he wasnt friends with my old friend, but I found out he still hangs with her 'cause he supports people who need it no matter what' omg... that pissed me off soooo bad. just because I dont care about her little baby situation, because she probably 'told' the guy to get her preg like she usually does... and than just decides to get an abortion,... I dont support that shit at all! thats like killing on purpose!
so that pissed me off....
than my other friend was starting to piss me off too....
I just want a best best friend, I want a boy, and I want to be living in my own apartment, in turlock, in california, have a job, make dreads, and I want my steamer to stop leaking!
and to be totally 100% honest, Im getting really really annoyed every single day... either by stupid girls, stupid boys, or STUPID FRIENDS! or not stupid friends, but rude friends I should say.
but on the side note, my friend got this website thingy up for something... hes really getting somewhere in life.
im really happy for him.
as for me, Im not going NO WHERE!!!
its tarantula records
Day 17...
No word from Bass still.
Last night I was watching old videos from turlock....
I was once happy. Where did I go?
Today was a good yet horrible day
This morning I woke up pretty fricken content :]
Than I got invited to this goth party, and found out that my friend is promoting it :]
and hes gonna give me and chip a ride and its on the 23rd. yaay
So that was cool....
than me, chip, and my dad went for a drive for the mountains... than me and chip decided to go hiking... so we walked around ended up walking in the snow.... omg, we kept falling in the snow, like sinking. haha.
than i was talking to Donnie... and he said he wasnt friends with my old friend, but I found out he still hangs with her 'cause he supports people who need it no matter what' omg... that pissed me off soooo bad. just because I dont care about her little baby situation, because she probably 'told' the guy to get her preg like she usually does... and than just decides to get an abortion,... I dont support that shit at all! thats like killing on purpose!
so that pissed me off....
than my other friend was starting to piss me off too....
I just want a best best friend, I want a boy, and I want to be living in my own apartment, in turlock, in california, have a job, make dreads, and I want my steamer to stop leaking!
and to be totally 100% honest, Im getting really really annoyed every single day... either by stupid girls, stupid boys, or STUPID FRIENDS! or not stupid friends, but rude friends I should say.
but on the side note, my friend got this website thingy up for something... hes really getting somewhere in life.
im really happy for him.
as for me, Im not going NO WHERE!!!
its tarantula records
Day 17...
No word from Bass still.
Last night I was watching old videos from turlock....
I was once happy. Where did I go?
Today was a good yet horrible day
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Day 16
I woke up finding out that Bass's phone is turned back on. That night, I had a dream that his phone was now saying 'The number your trying to reach has been changed' or something along those lines, and all I did in my was try to find a way to contact him over and over and over.
Wasnt the greatest mornings....
Besides that, I went to the office while my friend was still asleep, and got my clothes that had came in the mail... only to find out that I couldnt even button my pants on! Great, yay for getting fat...
and my tanktop was too small too....
=/ yaaay
-gap of memory loss-
I some how ended up throwing the trash away with my friend,... only because he wanted to go around looking for a cig... and by the time we reached the other side of the complex, we ran into my dad...
We went to get my permit.... only to find out that it was closed.
The rest of the day wasnt important really, except me and chip went job searching...
Lets see..... just stupid drama with my ex and my ex best friend, stupid thinking, the t.v. stopped working.... my steamer started spraying water, which makes the dreads wet, and doesnt let it melt... so idk whats going on with my steamer....
And the rest of the day I cant even remember.
Besides that, OMG! today was super annoying.
OH! my friend bailed again,... it was his car this time.
But I guess we're going to go get our tickets on monday than.
AND THAN!!! lol xp Chip kept calling me [I think] than he called me crow, and thats all I responded to.... that was kinda depressing. haha...
Day 16....
Still no word from Bass, no word from his mom.
On the side note: I talked to D today... hes back with his baby's mommy :]
and chip showed me how to work this stupid music maker shit thing. whatever its called
Wasnt the greatest mornings....
Besides that, I went to the office while my friend was still asleep, and got my clothes that had came in the mail... only to find out that I couldnt even button my pants on! Great, yay for getting fat...
and my tanktop was too small too....
=/ yaaay
-gap of memory loss-
I some how ended up throwing the trash away with my friend,... only because he wanted to go around looking for a cig... and by the time we reached the other side of the complex, we ran into my dad...
We went to get my permit.... only to find out that it was closed.
The rest of the day wasnt important really, except me and chip went job searching...
Lets see..... just stupid drama with my ex and my ex best friend, stupid thinking, the t.v. stopped working.... my steamer started spraying water, which makes the dreads wet, and doesnt let it melt... so idk whats going on with my steamer....
And the rest of the day I cant even remember.
Besides that, OMG! today was super annoying.
OH! my friend bailed again,... it was his car this time.
But I guess we're going to go get our tickets on monday than.
AND THAN!!! lol xp Chip kept calling me [I think] than he called me crow, and thats all I responded to.... that was kinda depressing. haha...
Day 16....
Still no word from Bass, no word from his mom.
On the side note: I talked to D today... hes back with his baby's mommy :]
and chip showed me how to work this stupid music maker shit thing. whatever its called
12, 13, 14, 15
Ok, so I keep forgetting to update.... but whatever, this is more for myself I guess.....
Well I cant tell you what has been happening because I cant remember....
Thursday I hung out with my friend Rics.... we went shopping.... and I spent WAY too much money on clothes. but hey, it was a once in a life time thing.
Than later that night My friend Brandon called, and said he was homeless again, so I offered to help him out..... after asking if it was fine with my dad.
Than that night when i was getting ready for bed, my ex decided to text me... of course... he was drunk.... That didnt end so well.... More like me in tears.
So friday, I went to the dmv, passed my written test, missing 3, but we didnt have my birth certificate so I couldnt get my permit. Bummer... that means we have to spend another 2 hours waiting again.
We went down to get my dad his check from the layer, and I went shopping again by myself downtown. [we were in the springs at this time]
than we went to go pick up Brandon, and during that time, me and an ex were doing nothing but fighting. [donnie]
But we're solving things now, which is kinda scary, considering that he wants me back, I miss him, but there is the whole trust thing....
anyways, we all than went and bought a new huge t.v. for my dad, and a printer for me.
we went home, and settled down.
I've been having dreams lately, that had to do with either Ronnie, or Bass....
And I've also been having dreams with my mom. I dont know what they mean...
I just wish that one day things will be alright between me and Ronnie & Bass
This morning, which would be the 15th day, I called Bass.... and his phone was actually back on... just... not on on, if you know what I mean.
Like his bill was paid for.... it was just off.
Day 15....
No word from Bass still....
Good morning life
Well I cant tell you what has been happening because I cant remember....
Thursday I hung out with my friend Rics.... we went shopping.... and I spent WAY too much money on clothes. but hey, it was a once in a life time thing.
Than later that night My friend Brandon called, and said he was homeless again, so I offered to help him out..... after asking if it was fine with my dad.
Than that night when i was getting ready for bed, my ex decided to text me... of course... he was drunk.... That didnt end so well.... More like me in tears.
So friday, I went to the dmv, passed my written test, missing 3, but we didnt have my birth certificate so I couldnt get my permit. Bummer... that means we have to spend another 2 hours waiting again.
We went down to get my dad his check from the layer, and I went shopping again by myself downtown. [we were in the springs at this time]
than we went to go pick up Brandon, and during that time, me and an ex were doing nothing but fighting. [donnie]
But we're solving things now, which is kinda scary, considering that he wants me back, I miss him, but there is the whole trust thing....
anyways, we all than went and bought a new huge t.v. for my dad, and a printer for me.
we went home, and settled down.
I've been having dreams lately, that had to do with either Ronnie, or Bass....
And I've also been having dreams with my mom. I dont know what they mean...
I just wish that one day things will be alright between me and Ronnie & Bass
This morning, which would be the 15th day, I called Bass.... and his phone was actually back on... just... not on on, if you know what I mean.
Like his bill was paid for.... it was just off.
Day 15....
No word from Bass still....
Good morning life
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Day 10 & 11
well I cant remember what happened day 10.... I think I was supposed to hang out with a friend but got bailed on?
And yesterday.... lets see, I was busy for most of the day, calling people, making dreads and stuff.
Than by the time my dad came home.... I was pooped... and I STILL had to make calls...
And than my grandma called and said the yogurt shop wont be open for another year and a half... which totally sucks!!!
But oh well, im still moving back to cali in october, even if all my friends have left there, it'll be better than here.... cause its warm, and I can actually do other stuff.
Than me and a few friends discussed something about going to a rave :]
than my other friend demanded me to buy him and this bitch girl a ticket. ugh.
Now my other friend just said, after we went over it!! "who's buying" and he was supposed to get his own ticket... UGH!!! I hate colorado so much
Still no word from Bass, and his mom is now not responding to my texts.
I talked to my bro last night. I miss him. He said to call the cops on them for not sending my stuff after I paid...
idk, sounds too mean, but yea
And yesterday.... lets see, I was busy for most of the day, calling people, making dreads and stuff.
Than by the time my dad came home.... I was pooped... and I STILL had to make calls...
And than my grandma called and said the yogurt shop wont be open for another year and a half... which totally sucks!!!
But oh well, im still moving back to cali in october, even if all my friends have left there, it'll be better than here.... cause its warm, and I can actually do other stuff.
Than me and a few friends discussed something about going to a rave :]
than my other friend demanded me to buy him and this bitch girl a ticket. ugh.
Now my other friend just said, after we went over it!! "who's buying" and he was supposed to get his own ticket... UGH!!! I hate colorado so much
Still no word from Bass, and his mom is now not responding to my texts.
I talked to my bro last night. I miss him. He said to call the cops on them for not sending my stuff after I paid...
idk, sounds too mean, but yea
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Day 9
This morning, I called Bass again....
No answer. Well of course, because the operator came on and said 'the cricket number you have called, has temporary been disconnected'
I text his mom asking what happened, but no response.
So later that morning, I crawled out of bed after laying there for a few hours, and walked out of my room. I saw some candy on the floor, as my dad had 'hid' candy eggs around... but I just walked right past it. I grabbed one that was on the counter, and ate it, but that was it. Why? Why did I just walk past everything my dad had hid? simply because I dont care about anything anymore I guess.. which now that I think about it, makes me feel bad, because I kinda ignored him today. well didnt ignore him, just he would say stuff, and I wouldnt know how to respond except with a fake laugh, or I just didnt have anything in common with the subject. He is trying too hard to impress me I think. Which is nice... but it would be nice if he actually just... KNEW me, and knew what to talk about... but like me, I dont know what to talk about. Guess it was the distance of being away, or the fact that Im just so fricken miserable, and hate colorado, that im just always in a bad mood. anyways, enough emo talk. this is supposed to be a 'happy' blog thing... eventhough its not working.
we went to go shopping sorta, and ended up just going for a very long drive through the mountains. it was nice. We saw a hurd of elk! last time I saw that, I was in california, and they were all running around. It was really pretty, this time.... they were all just standing in a big circle...
Than we went to get me girly stuff for my stupid evil girly time of the month.
After that, we came home.... I cant remember what happened.. we watched a movie, I went to sleep, got back up, ate this cute tiny egg shaped cake that my dad got.... they were small,... one for him, one for me.
than... we watched the end of lord of the rings, I talked to my grandma, and..... that was it. my dad went to bed.
tomorrow my friend said he might take me out shopping.
oh! when I last talked to bass, which was like 2 days after I came back to colorado, he said he absolutely loved the CD I had made for him.... and he kept listening to it...
well now I keep listening to the playlist I had put together to make that CD. ugh...
day 9... no word from bass...
my attitude is going down again.
When will I be cured? I go through these phases.... these phases last for months and months, sometimes for a few years even.
I hope to find friends who can save me... even though only I can really save myself; help would be nice though
No answer. Well of course, because the operator came on and said 'the cricket number you have called, has temporary been disconnected'
I text his mom asking what happened, but no response.
So later that morning, I crawled out of bed after laying there for a few hours, and walked out of my room. I saw some candy on the floor, as my dad had 'hid' candy eggs around... but I just walked right past it. I grabbed one that was on the counter, and ate it, but that was it. Why? Why did I just walk past everything my dad had hid? simply because I dont care about anything anymore I guess.. which now that I think about it, makes me feel bad, because I kinda ignored him today. well didnt ignore him, just he would say stuff, and I wouldnt know how to respond except with a fake laugh, or I just didnt have anything in common with the subject. He is trying too hard to impress me I think. Which is nice... but it would be nice if he actually just... KNEW me, and knew what to talk about... but like me, I dont know what to talk about. Guess it was the distance of being away, or the fact that Im just so fricken miserable, and hate colorado, that im just always in a bad mood. anyways, enough emo talk. this is supposed to be a 'happy' blog thing... eventhough its not working.
we went to go shopping sorta, and ended up just going for a very long drive through the mountains. it was nice. We saw a hurd of elk! last time I saw that, I was in california, and they were all running around. It was really pretty, this time.... they were all just standing in a big circle...
Than we went to get me girly stuff for my stupid evil girly time of the month.
After that, we came home.... I cant remember what happened.. we watched a movie, I went to sleep, got back up, ate this cute tiny egg shaped cake that my dad got.... they were small,... one for him, one for me.
than... we watched the end of lord of the rings, I talked to my grandma, and..... that was it. my dad went to bed.
tomorrow my friend said he might take me out shopping.
oh! when I last talked to bass, which was like 2 days after I came back to colorado, he said he absolutely loved the CD I had made for him.... and he kept listening to it...
well now I keep listening to the playlist I had put together to make that CD. ugh...
day 9... no word from bass...
my attitude is going down again.
When will I be cured? I go through these phases.... these phases last for months and months, sometimes for a few years even.
I hope to find friends who can save me... even though only I can really save myself; help would be nice though
Day 8 [yesterday]
I think it was very early in the morning that I called bass.... His phone is now off... like, he canceled his plan, or he didnt pay for his phone bill....
Now there is absolutely no way for me to get ahold of him. I dont know what to do now.
Im crushed. This blog is supposed to make me feel better... but all these things keep happening.
but on the side note, [after having very little sleep that night] I got out of bed, and got ready for the day. My dad and I went down to colorado springs... I got my camera. nikon d80
not what I wanted. it doesnt have video. ugh!! but oh well.... whatever... I cant change that.
we got two memory cards, a new tripod [hopefully I wont loose the holder this time] and some other stuff.
my dad got a new computer, so now this one is all mine, and I can actually take it into my room before I go to bed. my dad also gave me $500 to buy clothes. wow, thanks... haha :)
we then went to get food, than he dropped me off to go see my old friend Brandon... he lives with this chick, and her dad... his friend was pretty rude... it was like she didnt even want to say hi... like she was full of herself and stuck up... I used to be like that,... it also comes with the package of a shy girl, but I grew out of that, and learned how to respect people that came into your home.
but whatever, I had a good... 20 minutes with brandon.
than my friend decided he wanted to pay me $120 for dreads, when I said, [price of hair+$25-35+shipping] which would probably come to be around... $37-50 but he decided he WANTED to pay me more. lol
the other day he talked to me for a long time, and really helped me out with my thinking. well not really, but he acted like he cared about my life, so that made me happy
but im still thinking too much about if I ever run into bass... what should I do? smack him and ask for my mom's stuff? yell at him and tell him he is exactly like ronnie? demand my stuff, and tell him to never ever talk to me again, and if he even tries to when im around D or Rich, im gonna tell ronnie that he is totally allowed to beat him up now? [not that ronnie hasnt just because i keep telling him not to]
or totally ignore him after I get my stuff like he has to me?
Or I could do the worst of the worst! tell his little gf about everything that happened... which I dont think I will.... thats just mean
Now there is absolutely no way for me to get ahold of him. I dont know what to do now.
Im crushed. This blog is supposed to make me feel better... but all these things keep happening.
but on the side note, [after having very little sleep that night] I got out of bed, and got ready for the day. My dad and I went down to colorado springs... I got my camera. nikon d80
not what I wanted. it doesnt have video. ugh!! but oh well.... whatever... I cant change that.
we got two memory cards, a new tripod [hopefully I wont loose the holder this time] and some other stuff.
my dad got a new computer, so now this one is all mine, and I can actually take it into my room before I go to bed. my dad also gave me $500 to buy clothes. wow, thanks... haha :)
we then went to get food, than he dropped me off to go see my old friend Brandon... he lives with this chick, and her dad... his friend was pretty rude... it was like she didnt even want to say hi... like she was full of herself and stuck up... I used to be like that,... it also comes with the package of a shy girl, but I grew out of that, and learned how to respect people that came into your home.
but whatever, I had a good... 20 minutes with brandon.
than my friend decided he wanted to pay me $120 for dreads, when I said, [price of hair+$25-35+shipping] which would probably come to be around... $37-50 but he decided he WANTED to pay me more. lol
the other day he talked to me for a long time, and really helped me out with my thinking. well not really, but he acted like he cared about my life, so that made me happy
but im still thinking too much about if I ever run into bass... what should I do? smack him and ask for my mom's stuff? yell at him and tell him he is exactly like ronnie? demand my stuff, and tell him to never ever talk to me again, and if he even tries to when im around D or Rich, im gonna tell ronnie that he is totally allowed to beat him up now? [not that ronnie hasnt just because i keep telling him not to]
or totally ignore him after I get my stuff like he has to me?
Or I could do the worst of the worst! tell his little gf about everything that happened... which I dont think I will.... thats just mean
day 7 [cant remember]
so day 7 was ACTUALLY on friday... friday morning I posted for day 6
but on friday.... I cant remember what happened.
except that I was talking to Bass's mom... she was pretty nice that day... saying she'd look for my stuff but didnt know where it was at.
my ex donnie just had to complain that i am no longer in his life, hes sad that I left, and what not. I would be back with him in a heartbeat.... if he had not cheated on me with like 7 other girls.
Thats all I can remember about friday.
I dont think it was a very good day
but on friday.... I cant remember what happened.
except that I was talking to Bass's mom... she was pretty nice that day... saying she'd look for my stuff but didnt know where it was at.
my ex donnie just had to complain that i am no longer in his life, hes sad that I left, and what not. I would be back with him in a heartbeat.... if he had not cheated on me with like 7 other girls.
Thats all I can remember about friday.
I dont think it was a very good day
Friday, April 2, 2010
Day 6 [last night]
yesterday, nothing went right...
I asked fran if her bro was alive... and she said he was with meranda [his new gf Im guessing] and he was moving.
so he could contact her, but he cant contact me...
Im not going to talk about the rest of the day cause nothing went right, except I got a video done for youtube, and I did go to a photoshoot....
it lasted 5 hours, and.... of course I didnt get paid... of course, I never do. but oh well...
and the photographer got me chapotlie or however you spell it
no word from bass... he moved... his mom said just to keep calling
I asked fran if her bro was alive... and she said he was with meranda [his new gf Im guessing] and he was moving.
so he could contact her, but he cant contact me...
Im not going to talk about the rest of the day cause nothing went right, except I got a video done for youtube, and I did go to a photoshoot....
it lasted 5 hours, and.... of course I didnt get paid... of course, I never do. but oh well...
and the photographer got me chapotlie or however you spell it
no word from bass... he moved... his mom said just to keep calling
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