letters

Im thinking of doing something for Jared, but idk yet... when I left derrick for a long time, I made him videos, and left letters and notes everywhere for him...
speaking of Derrick, he found pictures of my mom and is gonna mail me them.
I can only find one picture of my mom after she got cancer... =[

and I took videos of her, but I cant find those =/
I want to remember every bit of her, even when she had cancer.

but I sent some people a text saying 'wow, thats a short list of friends to send this all to, but anyways, i'll be gone for a week'
and derrick said that, thats what happens when people grow up....
I swear, if he talks to me again about 'thats how it goes when people grow up' im gonna send a bomb in the mail to his house.....

whats the point of living if you have no friends? when your like Derrick.... You have a job... have no gf,... your parents hate you... you only have one friend.... ok... what is there to live for? No really... what are you REALLY saving your money for?
A new toy?
a video game your gonna play on with a bunch of people you dont know.... is that it? for the rest of your life?
So your going to school to... learn how to make cool music..... to what? have a bunch of strangers call out your name? But who are these people?
your working in a huge business.... so your a ritch bitch with a fancy car....
your too much of a slut to have kids.... you go from girl to girl...
wow,... what are you living for?
What is the meaning to grow up? to loose all your friends? so you can sit alone? night after night... you go to work, come home, eat, watch t.v. go to bed...
next morning... go to work, come home, eat, watch t.v. go to bed....
next morning... go to work, come home, eat, watch t.v. go to bed....
next day... go to work, go out with a girl, eat, have sex, go to bed....

What does it mean 'to grow up'? Really?
Does that mean.... 'stop having fun and live a boring life, get depressed, and maybe perhaps if your lucky, kill yourself before you get old, and have to live like a robot'

Look around.... ok, if your lucky, you'll have a kid.... and be even more stressed out, but with something cute in your hands for about 10 years.... than they start having their own minds....
if your lucky, you'll have a great wife or husband.... who'll entertain you...
but if you two are too grown up, why even have each other around? You'll just be sitting on the couch all day doing nothing if your 'so grown up'


growing up are for depressed people