Stupid Car

so the past few days have sucked....
But atleast I finally got to see a bad ass side of Tom, which was so fucking hot....
But not for a good reason..... and I hope everything is sorted out soon, and no one goes on a killing rampage.
I had a 3 hour long dentist appointment... totally ruined my plans!!! but they got the gap between my front teeth filled.... it feels weird.
So I went to go to the mall,.... and my phone took me to some random ass place....
so I just went home. I was supposed to finish Tom's gift.... didnt happen. so I didnt see him that night.
The next day I was gonna get a piercing, get my hair done, finish toms gift, and get a comic for tom that he wanted....
yea, well, my car broke down, and is stuck in highlands ranch....
it was really nice to have 3 cute guys push my car to the gas station than ask for my number xD
Than JD and Erin came over to help me out.... now its in a sports authority parkinglot....
so I couldnt get anything done yesterday....
I took my dad's car to the mall, again, the phone sent me to the wrong place.... but oh well, I found it.

I have just been in a bad mood....
than I see that Jared still talks to Erin....
which fucking pisses me off. I dont want him talking to my friends what so ever.
I dont want to be talked about, I dont want him in my life in any sort of way.... which means I dont want him being friends with my friends!! I deleted ALL of his friends.... he needs to fucking delete mine!!!!!
ESPECIALLY Erin!!!
The one friend I actually talk to often, and I see that he talks to her too....
Makes me like super insecure.....
I dont blame anyone but myself, but this whole thing has made me more insecure than I have ever been.... and I can tell its starting to bug Tom. I wouldnt blame him.
But im pretty sure EVERYONE talks about how i complain so much, which is funny how Jared used to say its ok, thats just how I vent, but now he calls it complaining.
You try being best friends with your mom and now shes dead and be happy....
I hate this world.... its so full of fucked up people!! and the worst things happen to the people who dont deserve it, and the best things happen to the people who deserve the worst!!!
Like my mom and me....
Like Tom and his mom....
He said he wouldnt know what would happen to himself if he lost his mom...
and I said he'd turn out to be me....

Sometimes its not so harsh.... sometimes people get depressed for years.... or... sometimes people kill themselves.
Atleast im still alive and trying. can no one give me credit for that?!
No, thats right, Im just a complaining bitch. I forgot.

Its strange how you see the real person once your no longer with them... and all their lies... and how fake they were the entire time....
Atleast I still love him, and miss him.... hes as happy as could be, wanna know why? cause he never loved me in the first place. from day one.... from the first time he said he loved me, from the day he said he'd always be there. But thats ok.... Im used to being fucked over, and cheated on, and what not.... However, I shouldnt be used to it. I should be treated right for once, have a normal break up.... I shouldnt a girl who is used to being fucked over.... I may have big anger issues, but I have a lot to give, and I always give my all...
Im not dwelling on the past, I just want a better future! my guard is up higher than its ever been....
but now im with someone who actually has things in common with me =] well.... not with with xD
jus mi cuddle buddy person thingy..... =/