STOP!!

I wish I could tell you to not do drugs, but its not my place to tell you what you cant do.
I wish I could have just gone over to your house and slapped you, took the drugs, and flushed them....
But as a drug addict, you'd probably hit me back for doing that....
Im sure your happy with yourself, being all fucked up again.... I mean, sure they are just party drugs.... but being high all the time.... not remembering things.... doing nothing with your life....
I want you to go somewhere!!! I want you to be with someone, and be happy, and have a life, and get married, and have kids, and remember everything!! Though I wish you'd consider having a life with me, I know its not going to happen.... but I'd rather you not be with me, and with someone else, than doing drugs.....
I hate that your lying to me all the time, and that Im crying, I hate that Im so in love with you, and want to be with you, while all you want is to be with someone else....
I will find someone else who'll make me happy, and I'll stop crying over you. I will be happy!!! I will get married one day.... and if I dont, than I'll be out having one hell of a life, but atleast I'll remember it....

I dont want you to get caught, I dont want you to do drugs, I dont want anything bad for you Jared! I dont want to be the reason why you started doing drugs again!!!!!! Why did you tell me that! Why.......? why?! I feel like I should just be dead now.... You were so proud of being sober... and I was happy that I was helping you stay that way....
thanks for showing me that Im a horrible person, and that your life went to shit now because of me. Be proud of doing drugs.... I dont care, but to me, its nothing to be proud about.

I miss you, and want you back, but I know right now nothing good will come out of it. And your in love with someone else....
There are so many things I want to say just to piss you off, because you piss me off..... But I know your already saying/doing things to make everything backfire at me.... to make me feel worse....
Like saying you bet I fucked Tom.... and if I havnt, I will, or i'll go around fucking other guys.... as if im a slut!! that hurt! And you know what, I havnt even kissed another person since you. I havnt held hands with anyone, havnt called anyone 'love, babe' or said someone was my everything....


I've been awake for 2 hours.... and its gone by so fast, its like I just woke up....
I havnt been sleeping very well lately... Im always tired....
I need you out of my head.