I'd Go Back In Time and Change It, But I Cant...

If I could get one chance to go back in time, I would take that chance now.
I may have said it before, but I've really been thinking about it....
But the thing is, I dont have that chance to go back in time...
Those are just silly little dreams that only come true in romance movies.

But if God gave me one chance... just one... I would change a lot of things,...
But things that would only lead me back to the summer time of 2010.
Of course, going back to the past would not be just a play-back...
In order to change things, you have to know you are in the past...
You have to have some sort of idea of whats going to happen in the future...
Otherwise, without some sort of knowledge of the future, than it'd just feel like deja vu, and that doesnt always change a person.

I just wish I could do something, or have a sign, or something so I could go back to the past!! I dont just want a better future, but I want a better past. I want to be proud of myself. I want to be able to say that Im happy to be who I am today...
And I want to do the right things for other people too...


If I was given the chance... I'd ask my mom if she wanted to go back in time too...
So that I could take her to the beach, take her to the zoo, go and do karaoke together, and do everything she wanted before she passed away...
But, that would also mean she'd have to re-live the pain all over again. I dont want to put her through that, but if she wanted to go back, and was given the chance to do what she wanted before she died, well, I'd hope she could have that chance.

But if I could go back in time, I wouldnt have done the things I did, and I probably wouldnt have gone out with Donnie...
I would have gone straight to Turlock considering those were some of the best days I ever had...
I wouldnt have done the things I did with certain people...
I would learn how to say no a lot better.
I wouldnt have argued with my grandpa...
I would have came home for dinner more, and acted more like a family.
I would learn how to be more fun, and outgoing.
And when I came to Colorado, I would have done the same thing...
I would have moved back to California, and not been so attached....
I would leave on good terms...
And I would have gotten all my stuff, and just left them at my grandparent's house.
I would have let Andrew and Chip live with me...
But I wouldnt have let them borrow any money.
I would relive those days, through all the pain and anger...
just to be with jared again.
I would do everything I could to make Jared happy...
And I wouldnt have fought about stupid little things...
I would have made friends with Krystal...
I would learn to trust more.
I would still be friends with Beetle, and Ro...
I wouldnt let people get to me so easily...
I would learn to make more friends, than enemies...
I wouldnt be so 'me me me' all the time.
I wouldnt talk about the future, even when he did.
I would be more of a party person...
I would try not to be so boring.
I would want to re-live the summer days over and over...
I would make him happy...
I hope I made him happy.
I'd go back to the days whenever I did something wrong...
and I would just not have done it.
I would go back in time for myself, for my mom, for Derrick, for Donnie, for all the girl's hearts I broke, for every friend I didnt give a chance, for my dad, for Damien, for my grandparents, and for Jared.... and for a chance for a better, or another 'Jared and I'