Homeless

When you lay down in your bed, do you think about how lucky you are?
When you see people sleeping on the streets... do you ever wonder if that could be you?
If you lost your job, and your parents wont help you,...
You cant get a place to work at...
Time is ticking... ticking,... ticking...
Your trying to find friends and family to stay with...
But no one will answer.
Finally, you cant pay for your bills...

Are you ashamed? Where would you go? What would you do?

Are you still yourself?

I couldnt ask for more

I couldnt ask for more.....
Jared is all I could ever ask for.
Sure I dont clean my house like I used to before...
But thats ok...
Cause he's willing to clean my room while im gone xD
And I lovers him more and more and more every single second
Just thought I'd let everyone know ^-^

Is it beautiful?

Unicorns cant feel regret... meaning they never feel any sorrow

Oceanside

Ok... so I asked my 'friends' from Oceanside if they could help with a ride....
guess what?
They ALL just ignored my texts, and messages.... like, private messages.
=/
Sad thing... I bet my ex Donnie [not ronnie] would give me a ride, AND WE'RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS!!!
How sad is that?!?!
It just shows that certain people are always willing to help the people in need...

Mute

What do you do, when the girl who doesnt talk... sings?

I was thinking about how quiet I am... especially around my dad...
He seems to not get me,... acts like Im 4... thinks I care about the weather.

So I thought I'd just talk whats on my mind that Im not going to say outloud...
Its like I have my own little conversation in my mind.

"My salamanders are very active tonight.. Their tiny arms are moving more and more as they swim around."

"Its very late,... and my boyfriend is not yet off of work... Are you sure its legal to work someone 13 hours?? Sunrise to sundown..."

"I want lots of clothing... awesome clothing... something that annoying girl cant top."

"I wish your youtube on your computer would load faster"

"I played video games today! .......for about 10 minutes than fell asleep"

"I need to make my dreads right now... 1, 2, 3 go! Nope... not yet"

"The guy who owns 'VampireFreaks' seems really really camera shy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Bpmpym6LQ "

"Omg,... you stupid advertisement... shut the hell up"

"Sorry to say Jared, but the guy who makes the goggles here in Denver... had a really cute, interesting voice."

"But I'd rather hear your voice anyday while hugging me, and yea...."

"GET OFF OF WORK ALREADY! I fucking miss you"

"-sad face-"

"I love learning about cultures o.O"

"Ok,... ima go sit out in the livingroom so my dad doesnt think I hate him"

"You need to be off work by the way..."

Dont Leave Mommy!

So I woke up crying from a dream....
It went something like this:

There was this old couple in front of me...
The old man kissed the lady and said "I finally found the woman of my dreams... I've been carving the initials 'MMM' everywhere I went" he said...

An old women behind me, younger than them however, started laughing...
"How silly! What? Never been married before? Was that your first kiss? Aww how cute..."

I didnt like her attitude, so I thought I'd embarrass her infront of everyone.. and told her the story...

"Ma'am... Those two got engaged,.. and the boy had to go off to world war one...
The lady was told that he died, but something seemed fishy to her, so she searched, and did all this research, and they FINALLY found each other.... MMM stands for
'Mathildes marrying Manech'

And thats why the movie is called 'A Very Long Engagement"

And the lady looked shocked....
I than looked over, and saw my mom in the last isle at the grocery store...
[how people from ww1, and my mom were in this dream, idk... it was like a store for the dead, and the living, and the people inbetween]

My mom was wearing her brown shirt, and carring a little girl that looked just like me when I was about 4...
I know my mom loved it when I was little. she could dress me up and everything.
My mom looked like she did when her cancer had gone away for a few months... Her hair was growing back. Its not like when a guy shaves their head, and it grows back thick...
Her hair was very very soft, and just looked like baby hair, because when your hair falls out, it wasnt cut... these are new hairs growing in.

I ran from the line I was in, all the way up to my mom and gave her a huge hug...
And she smiled at me.
"There is a bird outside that actually sings to me"
And I thought to myself... 'a bird that sings words... wow'
but I dont know [now that I think of it in real life] if thats what she meant... or if she just meant that birds dont sing... but there is one bird that does, and it sings for her.

She than said "Im almost at the top.... "
And I told her 'no,... you can stay here'
But she shook her head... "I dont want to stay here... I'll get wrinkles."
I looked at my mom, dead in her eyes and squished her face, making her wrinkles show up.

[Yes, she was getting old, and her skin was so soft... I can remember... It was like the life was being sucked out of her body when she had cancer.]

I told her that she didnt have wrinkles, and she was as beautiful as always...


But she than told me "Im going to the top now.....Its time for me to go....."



And I woke up crying.

Hello You. Are you back?

So, I have gone through a lot lately...
So I have been posting a lot.
I have gone through shit people will never have to go through.
But, though I have been through a lot... I seem to be way less caring about stuff right now.
Either Im not caring about everything... or im actually happy right now o.o
I think I'd be more happier with friends around... or there was a beach where I could lay and like, love the sun for forever.
I still wish to be anywhere but Colorado...
But for right now, I feel slightly content..
I'll be surprised if this actually lasts.
But if it does... I'll actually be happy to say that I'll be happy for once in my life... again :)