Day 43 & 44

Day 43....
Ok, so I was supposed to wake Jared up in the morning, but he never answered any of my calls or texts or ANYTHING and I was getting rather annoyed because I was supposed to meet at his house......
but FINALLY he woke up, and I rode the bus for the first time alone to his house. it was pretty scary, but my attitude was getting in the way of the fear.... I really hadnt been in a good mood in the past.... forever.

Anyways we just hung around, and I was really wanting to leave.... I wanted to go shopping downtown, get that out of the way, so we could meet with the boys. But Jared wanted to take his dog to the park..... which kinda put me in an even worse mood because he knew I wanted to leave, so I felt like he was just stalling.... and Im not a dog person, so.... yea. I have my days when I want to like a dog,... and there are a lot of days where I dont even want to be touched by one....

Anyways, we took piper to the park, and yes, it was actually nice to sit outside in the middle of a huge green field.... but than we walked back home, and got on the bus. I hate,... HATE being in a bad mood around Jared... makes me feel like a horrible person for some odd reason.

But anyways, finally we made it downtown, and walked over to Raves....
we took SO LONG THERE!!!!! I just wanted to get boots, a plad skirt, and a school girl top.... wanna know what I ended up with? boots,.... a corset, and a black tight skirt.... and socks...

than we went to go get Chinese food... it was kinda expensive. and than klaa picked us up.... I was pretty content hanging with Jared all day just me and him. :]

Anyways, andrew and chip looked tired. well guess what? chip was fucking high. ugh. anyways..... we got to the club, and sat in the car for a long ass time, finally got in, and yea.... that day just so happened to be the day that other places had huge shows and free shit going on, so it was pretty empty,... but for a short while I was having lots of fun.... and Jared was making me the happiest girl ever.

Than Chip and Andrew decided to go and sleep in the car..... well before we went into the club, Jared let them eat his share of the food.... that I bought him. =/ whatever,... than they asked if there was more, and Jared said yea, but it was mine, and they were not allowed to have any.... and I said it too.... so guess what they did while they went in the car to sleep.... THEY ATE MY FUCKING FOOD!!! that shit was NOT cheap!!! They didnt ask, nothing. uncaringly, they just ate my food. I swear, they eat all my food at home, and I cant even buy anything for myself without them eating it!! D< What a rude couple. Just like my dad said 'I dont buy beer for you guys to drink, I buy it for myself' ok, so they can understand my dad's words, but why cant they understand mine? Im the one who controls if they get to stay here or not.... well my dad too, but still.

that just ruined my whole night....
and I just was trying my very very hardest not to flip the fuck out.... all I did was throw the empty container at chip.... andrew gave me $5 for eating, what,... like 2 of my wontons.... and said sorry, I think, so I was still expecting word from brandon about eating my shit, but still to this day, nothing.

We went to deny's which was interesting, but not interesting enough to talk about it.... except the fact that I just wanted to get Andrew's knife and stab it right into Chip's eyes.... no joke.... thats ALL I could think of, I was soo deep into thought about it that when Jared sent me a text saying 'I <3 U' all I responded with was 'sure' than I felt horrible for saying 'sure' cause one, idk what he really ment about the text.... so that put me into an even more worse mood.... that I almost cried....
I think the only thing I said at denny's was 'who are you shooting with, your getting ripped off' cause even if your shooting with a very high perfessional photographer, you should get at least 3 pictures....
if its a mag shot, than sure 1.... the one in the mag.

anyways..... atleast I went to sleep happy.... away from brandon,... and at least he wasnt in the same house as me

Day 43
I didnt call Bass....
I hate disrespectful people almost more than anything



Day 44
I woke up and omfg, it was hot as hell!!!
Im still mad at brandon.... anyways, we all took andrew home to go to work, left brandon at home, and me klaa and jared went to chipotle and got food.... my throat was hurting a little less..... yesterday was HORRIBLE!!!!! anyways.... we than decided to go up to the moutains! than klaa decided he wanted to do a photoshoot of me and jared... yea,... never really happened.... jared didnt want to wear klaa's clothes, and I just thought he didnt fit the look... we went up to the moutains, with Jared sleeping on my lap..... I thought it was super cute.....

anyways, lets see..... IT WAS HELLA FUCKING FUUUN!!
but the whole way up there I was wearing my corset skirt and boots.... wasnt a comfy ride....
we took videos which made it a lil more fun too.....
oh, and this jeep got stuck infront of us in the snow. haha! sucked, but Jared and Klaa helped them out :] yay for them.
and we got lots of pics.....
than on our way down this lady got off of her quade and looked like she was about ready to drop her pants in the middle of the dirt road.... to take a piss? seriously? wow... ok....

and than she turned around and noticed we were behind her xDD haha! omg, you should have seen her face! lol priceless....

than... we drove around again, got a few pics of me and jared, but i hated my face, of course, cause I think im ugly, than what else....
oh, Jared found a river.... and guess what?
:]
>.<
xD
He fell in. tehe
lol

than we went our way home ='(
and Jared fell asleep on my lap again.
boo!!! no fun.... I wanna fall asleep on his lap

anyways, we got home, and two seconds later chip was already out there to bug us....
I said my goodbyes to Jared without a kiss..... I felt horrible....
the past two days were really nice......
anyways, I got home, and my dad told me to get something out of the car. I already knew what it was :] I can read minds. tehe

but yea, I got my $120 steamer! woot woot!!
anyways.... chip is talking to me like we're all cool.... which is fine.... but im still mad.

day 44...
great day
bass still didnt answer his phone
I miss jared a lot.....
and idk why, I just feel like he doesnt feel the same....
I really really like him.
I wanted to tell him how much he means to me,...
just couldnt find the time

DAy 42

Ok, so I didnt wake up till like 12.... arg!!!
I cant wait till Andrew gets his own computer..... Not that I really mind.... but I need to get my stuff done too...
anyways, today seemed like a pretty good day, except the fact that my steamer is no longer working, and chip would have no problem ruining someone's face for life if he got mugged over a cellphone... seriously? god,... people are so HORRIBLE!!! and Im interacting with people like that? shit.....
Anyways.... my cereal is all gone, and I onyl had like 2 bowls of one box.... seriously peoples? oh well...
So this girl ordered a thing of dreads... :] yay.
so me and my dad went to the college, and I drove there.... and I was told I had to come back and take this essay than come back AGAIN and talk to an adviser.... AGAIN.
anyways.... than we went to target to get this one steamer cause my other one is like broken and retarded. anyways,.... they were out of it... so we went to walmart.... they only had one. blah...
so we were leaving walmart, and my dad was backing up, than stopped noticing that someone was backing up too.... but the guy backed up right into us...
but nothing too bad happened,... just a scratch on the other guy's car.


I really, honestly cant remember anything anything else about the day....
I miss Jared alot... and now Im watching NCIS so im content, only Jared isnt responding my texts,... and im sure andrew wants the computer since I asked if I could borrow it till chip gets here.... ugh.

anyways... Day 42....
I died today....
Bass answered his phone.... but never said anything. I think I had a heart attack... ='(
I could have sworn I heard him sigh...

Day 41

Ok,... so I got a message from Jared, asking to wake him up so can call his work... so I took a shower, got ready, than woke him up, than I was on my way to my job interview :]
I wore my 'flats' and wow, they.... hurt...
and when I got to the light, they were hurting A LOT!!
so I got in right? and I was all like 'Hi, can I speak to your hiring manager? I was supposed to come in for a job interview' right?
and than she's all like 'she wont be here for another hour' I know right?
ugh...
so than she's like 'are you sure your at the right place?'
I was like 'yes im at the right place'
[ok, im done saying 'right']
so she's all like 'well, im sorry, but we dont know anything' so I friggen left... and walked home.... BAREFOOT!!
yes...
so I got home, and than suddenly Jared said he was gonna come over! :D yaay!!!
Oh, and I was supposed to wake chip and andrew up right?
so they could go to the pool right?
well guess what? they never went.

anyways! so yea, the back of my foot was bleeding, and the other side I have a fat uglly ass blister on the other.

anyways, so Jared got here, we cleaned a lil, got another call about the job interview at burgerking,... saying sorry, and that I should come in at 3.
so yea.... Jared got me pills so I could get better sooner!!! HOW SWEET!!! <333333!!!!!!!!!
anyways, we ended up falling asleep.... me clinging to his head at one point of time... it was cute lol. I totally wish we could have gotten pictures when we were sleeping.

anyways, so 3 came around, and we all walked up to burgerking,... well, not ALL of us.. chip went to work to borrow money. poor thing got STORE CREDIT money. how lame.

anyways, so when I went to bk, the guy said he still didnt know what was going on, so he made some calls.... and I finally got my job interview! :]
I start on monday at 2 ^-^ anddrew is gonna train me at some point of time, which makes me feel totally comfortable with working there. yay.

anyways, me and Jared went back home, [barefoot] and laughed at chip singing in the shower... its funny :]

today was a pretty good day. we all seemed to be getting along today.... so that made me happy.
I finally started my period... 3 weeks late... well almost 3 weeks...

my dad came home in a pretty happy mood... and explained to me and andrew the whole jury duty story... it was fricken crazy!!!!
these two black homeless couple beat the living crap out of this guy for giving them a shopping card for food [ I cant remember what its called] and the card had no money on it...
so the guy stomped on the guy's chest, kicked the shit out of him with steal toed boots, beat him with a chair,... and stomped on his throat... the guy was in the hospital of course, but he is so fucked up, that he has to be feed with an IV...
and than the guy who beat him up tried to blame it on his wife!!!! omfg,... crazy homeless people.
this took place in sep. off of colfax or whatever that street is called....

anyways,....
good day...
day 41
bass didnt answer his phone...
I miss the SHIT out of Jared...
still getting used to him, but he makes me so firggen happy
I hope he comes to Hellbound with us... even though hes all worried about what to wear...
well not worried, but yea.

Day 40

Well lastnight when Brandon came home, he wrote me a long letter,... I hope he changes like he said he will...
but now I have a problem with Andrew. Where do these guys get the idea they can just act the way they do? Seriously.
Im almost 100% convinced that they are just using me for a place to stay...
I cant wait till Ronnie & Rich gets here... At least I'll have some actual friends who'll respect me... totally wish D was coming, but hes in yellowstone.
anyways, I updated my xanga account... deafbats.xanga.com
talked to Jared,... asked for andrew and chip to help around the house,...
than andrew got mad about it or,... something, idk why the hell he suddenly got mad....
those two cause so much fricken drama, its not even funny. andrew not as much...
but seriously, it's like being in an awful relationship!
The only person I had this much problems with was Bass and Donnie....
I am totally not a drama causer, so idk why this is all happening...
but hey, it would never happen if people knew how to be respectful.
idk if your an ass,.... just be respectful in the fucking house.
[ugh! my dad is giving me all this crap to read.... and I dont even understand what the hell im reading!!!!]

Anyways... I've been sick all friggen day... and its pissing me off! I hate being sick! =[
And Jared is too,... and I wanna take care of him... but yea... Id jus get lost.

anyways, andrew put in money into my paypal... yay....
they went to work, and brandon gave me a hug before he left since I was feeling down.
idk if he really is a friend, or not... but I hope he is...

anyways, my dad came home while I was in the middle of updating my profile, making dreads, listening to music, and looking at the whole business situation....
I miss having the house to myself... but I know when the boys move, I might get really bored... but hopefully rich and ronnie will come soon, but it'll still be a few months =[

anyways, my dad and I went out to get sushi! :D yaaay
omg, it was sooooo friggen good!!!!
than we talked a little bit, I already knew my dad doesnt like my friends, but I didnt think he'd have much of a problem with Jared, which made me really really sad... he just doesnt trust him. =[

but I know he is gonna think rich and ronnie are weird too... but you know what, what ever! Judge everyone... I dont care....
but yea... I finally finished my profile for myspace again...

day 40...
I dont remember if I even called Bass today, but I did text his mom... but no answer.
Jared posted something about not knowing if we're dating or not, which I dont know either...
but pretty much from the moment we hooked up, we told everyone we were dating....
and I dont want it to be like last time, where I never actually get asked out....
But he has my heart.... and thats all that should really matter.
Maybe I should introduce him fully to my dad...
But I dont think my dad would be too happy about me dating someone I've only known for a short period of time.
I mean, lol, I wouldnt, but than again, I'd probably ask, and be a closer parent so in a way, it probably wouldnt matter as much

Day 39

omg, horrible day....
I dont even want to fricken talk about...
all I can say is that girls will always be retarded, and bitches.
I love seeing people's reactions, and I hope people will change for the better, always.
But me and chip were hella yelling at each other.... he cant respect me and my rules, than he needs to leave
I packed up his shit, and if he doesnt decide to change, and respect me... or my dad and mine's rules... hes out of the house tomorrow morning. and my dad doesnt go to work till late, and if he fights with it, my dad is gonna back me up.
I hate to do this, but a friend isnt a friend if he cant respect you and your rules when living there for free....
I love brandon, but, he just keeps getting worse and worse and worse,...
and im so stressed out to the max, that I skipped my period this month.


And Jared is so worried for me, that it makes me happy.
but yea, I've been sleeping all day, feeling sick....
and Jared has been sick all day, and I feel super bad that I couldnt be there to make him feel better =[

day 39
Horrible day...
I was supposed to walk to the college but got too lazy... its a 40 minute walk
waiting for chip to come home so I can talk to him. I hope he is willing to change while living in the house. if he acts how he acts outside, that doesnt matter.... in the house its different.
Jared makes me happy....

Day 37 and 38

Day 37... I fricken waited all day for Jared to come over =/
all,... day.
the cable guys came over and gave us some sort of special, and put cable in my room. yay.
My dad was gone for the weekend, off at this SCA thing. wasnt an event, it was just cleaning an area so they can eventually have wars and such.

Finally got got here....
We just chilled and talked,... and yea... cant really remember much of the day at all really except for when Jared wanted to talk about a certain something, which I honestly didnt want to talk about at all untill he was home, and I could tell him online... which seemed to have upset him....
I rolled over, and to me, he stormed off...
and after a lil while, I went outside to check up on him, he was nowhere in sight..
and so the whole thinking situation started...
the thinking of he'd just get tired of me and my drama, and me and my crying,....
and with that thinking, I sat in the bathroom and cried for about an hour, went back to my room, and cried for another hour and a half till chip came over.
chip comforted me, which was nice, than went to talk to Jared....
so after about 30 minutes, Jared came over and we talked....
and when he said 'Krystalle, I really like you' in person for like the first time or something, idk, maybe it was just the sound of his voice that made me happy...
after a while we talked,... and he said he was gonna ask me out at The Church club, where you can see people's texts on the big screen... OMG how cute!!!!
everyone just asks the boring way,...
and than he asked me out, but I didnt really understand him, or hear him, so all I pretty much said 'yea... wait, what?' lol i dont think thatss the answer he was looking for.

anyways, after a long talk, Brandon decided he wanted to make a smoothie...
omfg... that was the funniest thing in the whole world! he kinda didnt know how to do it... and he totally broke my spatula,.... by using it as an icecream scooper... than the stuff in the blender also kinda blew up in his face sorta...
way too funny of a night.
I also made a cookie cake type thingy.
anyways, we eventually started watching one of the Halloween movies... it was alright, everyone was complaining but me... lol I like stories more than killing, but than again killing freaks me out.

Chip hand Jared's computer, and Andrew had mine.... seriously? come on now.... they had the computers all night >.>

Day 37....
I cried for 2 hours and felt horrible that Jared didnt come to check up on me.
Bass still didnt answer his phone.

-----------

day 38.
Jared came over again
and we just waited for the boys to wake up so we could go to the park. My dad came home, and I cooked him some food...
than went to take a nap....
Than me and Jared went on a phone picture taking marathon lol it was cute.
about 3 oclock or something, Chip woke up, and was being all loud, and when I asked him to be quiet, he pretty much said 'i dont care if your dad's sleeping' when he said 'im not even being loud' well, he kinda did say 'whatever, i dont care'
anyways, omg, that pissed me off sooooooo bad.... cause my dad did wake up.
anyways, i did the dishes [they just keep loading up living with these boys] and than we found out that chip's aunt died....
but i was still upset at the whole disrespect thing.... when I say something, just do it... respect dude.....
so I gathered up all my change so we could go downtonw.... it wasnt even fun.
anyways, when we got on the bus I talked to Jared about the whole situation.... I pretty much want to kick him out if hes going to be a jerk all the time, and cant respect me... he acts like a good friend once in a blue moon, thats it.
anyways, me and chip pretty much didnt talk all day long.
We got to the park, and me and andrew just talked the whole time we were there, which was nice.
he had me a good laugh :]
Than we met up with Krystal... she wasnt what I expected really and I didnt feel like talking to strangers. I was freezing, and didnt feel good.
anyways, we just sat there all night, than went downtown for a split second just to say hi to klaa...
we said we had to go so we could catch the bus but klaa just kept talking and talking. ugh....
idk what is up with him right now. its like hes on his period [sorry if you read this, but I obviously talk crap about everyone]
anyways.... the past few days its like... idk, he doesnt like us all of the sudden...
oh btw, when we were at the park, kayla pulled some gay ass stunt.
ok, so we got on the bus home... Jared got off,... but missed his other bus :( and it was raining....
finally we got home after waiting in the cold for the other bus...
and i waited for andrew to get off the computer.. they each said 10 minutes... well I waited an hour.. what the f ever...
and than chip had to snap at me again...
and earlier he had asked for me to talk to kayla, and I comforted him and everything about the whole situtation, and he snaps about me and my phone. ugh... see, a friend for only like 5 minutes.
anyways, I left chip a message about him straightening out, or he is leaving than I left kayla a message cause of the whole chip thing, than left Jared a whole message about the whole thing that I was worried about....

day 38
I realize that im a very jealous and selfish person.
Bass never answered his phone still.
I miss Jared

I just had a dream that Bass got online...
than I had a dream that I asked my dad to cut my hair. what the fuck? nooooo

Day 36 :]

Ok, so yesterday, [36]was a blast!
first of all.... I got a comment from someone, now that whole situation is stuck in my head for sure...
but anyways, Jared came over,... yaaay!
And so we just talked, I finally added all the music Klaa sent me...
Than I went to go register for classes.... I registered for college already, but they wouldnt let me apply for classes... lame! yea, I have to actually GO DOWN THERE to finish doing it. what the fuck ever!
Than I got a lovely call from a few un expected people....
I might talk about that in a myspace blog... maybe xp

But yea, we just sat around all day almost... but me and Jared made smoothies! :D
yay. they were super good o.o like you dont even know.
but someone ate all my bananas... which I asked the boys not to.
Anyways, I waited for andrew and Brandon to leave, so me and Jared could lock up...
We left, and started heading down to Zuni park... got half way there, just to find out that my friend couldnt make it to the park with us... so we hopped onto the bus, and started heading to Jareds house to get ready, cause Klaa wanted us to come to this other thing with him.
We got on the bus, and the lady was nice as fuck!
She offered to just drop us off right infront of the house!! But Klaa wanted to meet at wendy's
so she just decided to drop us off right there,... which isnt her route... but it was the end of her shift.

So we got ready at Jared's house, and headed off to the lakeside park...
omg,... lamest place in the world! but it was fun still <3
We got on this train thing, and when we got off, the people said we couldnt ride anymore! lol who cares?! but cause Jared stuck his arms out a few times... but whatever... the boy infront of us kept hanging out and spitting in the lake....
Oh, than I got a funnel cake! omg, o.o was fricken good!

Anyways after that, we went to the Church club... effin $20 bucks!!
It was fun though... I just wanted to dance... The goth music suuucked... ='( -sniff sniff- and the thing I noticed about Colorado, is there isnt as many goths as there are in cali.... which still has me thinking about the whole store thing, but whatever, I don care... I still want to do it here....
But yea, Im hoping to find a crowded goth club,... or I pretty much wont dance.
I like dancing, but I hate people focusing on me... Unless thats the whole idea like the go go dancers.... Jared kept saying I should be one lol
yea.... haha... no. one, I have no ass, two, I have no boobs, three,... I dont have a pretty face xD
but it'd look fun... and hella tiring, but fun.

But yea, omg, it was fun <33
and I saw the fish girl....inneresting....

But yea, so we headed home, and I fell asleep on Jareds lap :]
and called him babe in person for the first time... which is kinda a big thing for me =/
Meaning,.... Im starting to really fall for him :]
But Drama is following me again...
But thanks to Jared, I actually feel like a stronger person now. I dont have guys messing with my head or heart, and now I dont feel like I need to go to 'so and so' for comfort...
The only thing that is messing with my head is me thinking that as soon as Andrew and Chip move.. they are just going to ditch me.... like everyone else... Except the turlock crew... I hate the fact that they really dont have phones or computers to get ahold of me...
But yea... I totally kinda feel like chip is just putting on an act till he moves...
as much as they get on my nerves, I still want to be friends... Its just the simple respect thing, and the 'dont leave dishes in the sink if the dishwasher is empty, put water on your dishes so I can clean it off easier when I put it in the dish washer' 'clean off the dishes if your doing the dishes' 'yes, cook/eat whatever you want, just dont over do it on my dad's pepsi, or if im saving something to make smoothies' and 'clear your area[that includes your dirty clothes]' thats all

Im glad I found Jared.... but in a way I feel horrible... Its kinda like Im using him all of the sudden... Im not too keen about meeting new people jus cause I suck at it... and I feel like Him and Klaa would be the only one there for me when andrew and chip leave... so in a way I feel like im using them for my own support. Isnt that how it goes? girl and boy date than their life just revolves around them? Well thats not how I like it.... I like my boy, and my friends... but after they leave.... its probably just gonna be me jared and klaa till MY crew comes over... well, not really cause some stupid girl will probably be here too. and I dont really like girls... unless idk... there just has to be something about them that really catches my eye.

Anyways, day 36
Still no word from Bass, and no one else has heard from him too
Had a good, yet not good talk about my past, anf the future with Jared...
But he told me he could see himself with me for a while in the future :]
Im still trying to figure him out... and he still has a lot to learn about me too
so im glad we're taking the time....
But he makes me happy...
And not to compare or anything, please dont take it that way,
but like my last ex [not the one week thing] He has not given me a reason to dislike him in any sort of way....
Which usually.... I find a bunch of things before even dating someone... so im happy about that
Good morning Day 37... I hope to see Jared soon